The Secrets to processing big emotions, fears and traumas – Self-Soothing Techniques  + our nervous systems #What’s next? (2)

Hey Baddies

More about our nervous system…

Bet you didn’t know that the nervous system affects more than just the nerves in our body. 

The Latin derivative for the word emotion, ‘emotere’, literally means energy in motion. It is the feeling sensation and physiological reaction that makes a specific emotion positive or negative.

When we have pent up or unresolved emotion (energy in motion) we can affect our physical body. This is part of the mind-body connection.

Our mental states has some influence over our physical states.

When we experience any of the following

  • Trauma
  • Infections
  • Degeneration
  • Structural defects
  • Tumors
  • Blood flow disruption
  • Autoimmune disorders

Our nervous systems may react and we can experience

  • Headaches
  • Anxiety
  • Memory loss
  • Depression
  • Lack of coordination
  • Muscle rigidity

“Don’t let people who don’t care about you, manipulate your mind, feelings and emotions or control how you think about yourself. Never give that much power to someone else.”

― Karon Waddell

This is why it is so important to try and get ahead of any unprocessed fears, traumas, or emotions and  work through them as best as we can. 

How do we work through? We work on mindfulness and self-soothing.

So, you’ve soothed yourself and calmed down…what’s next?

Now it’s time to reflect. Become aware and mindful of how you react during situations. Lets come up with a game plan for the next time a situation arises.

Here are a few reflective questions and journal prompts to ask yourself.

  • Consider what happened…what triggered you? 
  • How did you feel?
  • What emotions came up? 
  • What did you tell yourself about what happened? 
  • What is your belief system saying? 
  • What was your initial thought?
  • What were the consequences?
  • How do you think it made you look?
  • Can you see another side? 
  • Can you dispute your thoughts? 
  • Are you thinking rationally? 
  • Did you have all the information?
  • Did you ask all the questions you could?
  • What can you do differently the next time?

The next time you find yourself in a touch situation either emotionally or externally, you now have a few tools to help slowdown any impulsive or reckless actions due to being trigger and have learned how to lean into your body and ground yourself in mindfulness.

Remember to use the journal prompts as a tool to gain more insight into who you are and what trigger you. When you have the knowledge you have the control and power.

These steps are sure to help you change those lemons into sparkling lemonade. You got this.

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The secrets to processing big emotions, fears and traumas – Self-Soothing Techniques #All the feels. (1)

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30 ways to a better & brighter day + tips for releasing negative emotions and stress. Learn to self regulate today! (#calm down)

Hey Baddies, this next statement may surprise you… “The truth is that stress doesn’t come from your boss, your kids, your spouse, traffic jams, health challenges, or other circumstances. It comes from your thoughts about your circumstances.”―Andrew Bernstein Oof, that’s a tough quote. Essentially, its saying that we have more control over our lives and…

A BBA Guide: Learn Great Ways to Stay Motivated and Take Massive Action Towards Goals. Eliminate Risk of Failure and Get Big Shit Done with These Tips!

We all struggle with motivation. The feelings of being inspired and energized and ready to go are so fleeting.

Tony Robbins says feeling motivated is an emotion and emotions are energy in motion.

In other words, to feel the emotion of motivation you must change your emotional state with energy. You must create this energy and then you can create or fuel your motivation.

You must create the motivation, instead of waiting for it. You can not wait for the emotion of motivation to come. You must create it by doing.


This sentiment is true for not only motivation, but so many other things in life. You often need to create the things you want and need in life. Feeling motivated won’t always happen when you want it to. Chances are more likely that it will not find you if you are just sitting around waiting for the feeling to hit. Additionally, if you aren’t in the state to receive it, you may miss the window of opportunity. The key is to create the motivation for yourself.  You have to get out there and make it happen.

This is perfect for the new year! in 2020 commit to creating your motivation instead of waiting for the feeling to hit!


“Infuse your life with action. Don’t wait for it to happen. Make it happen. Make your own future. Make your own hope. Make your own love. And whatever your beliefs, honor your creator, not by passively waiting for grace to come down from upon high, but by doing what you can to make grace happen… yourself, right now, right down here on Earth.” -Bradley Whitford

This quote says it all. We have a say in the way our life goes. We don’t have to let life just happen to us. Think of how you can’t always wait for the perfect job  or wait to be invited to hang with friends. In those situations, you might have to create an event and invite them or go out and create your ideal job. The same is true for motivation.

Below I have listed 6 ways to grab and create motivation. Keep reading!


Read more about how to MANIFEST MORE SUCCESS! Click HERE


Join and become part of the inner circle! Being a part of the BADDIES ELITE CLUB  HERE!


Immerse yourself

Surround yourself with things that motivate you.

Create a Vision Board (Click Here to read more on vision boards  and cultivating you personal vision). Hang with friends. Keep photos and  reminders and fully immerse yourself in the things you are trying to do, create, or manifest. This will keep it in the forefront of your brain, and keep you motivated.


Take Massive Action

In other words…Just Do It!

You don’t make a change by doing the bare minimum. You won’t see changes form from taking shortcuts. You can’t see change by staying in your comfort zone.

You must work – hard. When I say push yourself you need to go further than you’ve gone before, daily, go further than you’re comfortable with. You need to do more than you had thought you could.

 Motivation is an emotion and emotions are fleeting & based off many factors. The B.B. tip is that you just do it. Motivated or not.



Get a partner. Set a reminder. Create a reward system. If you need a team or group get one. If you need reminders, set them. Accountability partners have proven to keep you motivated and help with reaching goals.



Change your outlook on the situation from negative to positive. Consider changing from “I have to go to work today” to “I get to go to work to today.” Just that small change in perspective can do wonders for motivation. 



Create a plan and stick to it.

We can’t just talk about what we want, dream about what we want, think about what we want and expect it to happen with just thoughts and hopes alone.  We have to take BIG ACTION toward our goals, create a plan and stick with it.  Having a plan and a calendar can take out the guess work of what you need to do next when your motivation is low. That would just contribute to another excuse as to why you cant do something.

Eliminate the excuses by doing a little of extra work in the front end by creating a plan and the hard work is over. All you have to do is stick with it.

I believe that anyone can have whatever they want in life, if they work toward it consistently.

Honor your word to yourself. Don’t you want to be the type that says they’ll do something and always come through.

Be the one to actualize your dreams and slay! Click [here] for tips for your own ACTION PLAN

Read more about the Consistency Calendar and Action Planner HERE!


If you want a 1% life you need to put in 1% work – Gary V

Lastly – get excited to grow and move past your comfort zones. Remember what your reason is for the goal or the desired outcome. That will help carry you through the times where motivation is low. We have the abilities to create the outcomes we want, make shit happen, and get shit done. I encourage you all to take life by the horns and create the sparks you need.



A Bad Bitch’s Guide to Self-Validation. Learn your worth and how to Boost your self-love!

There was a time in my life when I felt like I needed the approval of others to feel like I was worth anything. Although I have consistently found myself to be a confident person as far as my abilities, I did not have the same confidence in relationships. I remember specifically thinking to myself, “if I give more in this relationship, then they would see how amazing I am, and would need me more,” not realizing that I was giving so much with the hopes of receiving the little scraps in return that I subconsciously thought I was worth. I was not reading the signs and would easily become blinded by the little amount being reciprocated, if at all, and thinking it was a grand gesture.

It took about 1 good heartbreak to realize…. “No – I really am amazing and I deserve so much more.” I felt the so sad and unhappy and allowed myself to feel the pain for about 1 week, trying to figure out how I walked myself into this pain. After the week was up I decided it was time to move and change.I used the Feel and Form Method.

I used the Feel and Form Method. Click to read more about a method to get back on your feet after you’ve gone through a hard time.

I needed to figure out how I can prevent myself from going through this same situation again, and why I was settling for less, and what in my past informed why I thought that was ok. From then I moved differently. Purposefully went outside of my comfort zone to prove to myself that I can do what I put my mind to. I went after new experiences and went on a self-discovery journey to build myself up. No longer settling for scraps.

This is one reason why I am so passionate about Bad Bitch Affirmations. I want others to know that we do not need to be validated or built up by anyone else.

We can give to ourselves. We can love ourselves. We can validate ourselves.

A key to be a true BB is wearing your crown, knowing your worth, and giving yourself your flowers (accolades) without the need of validation from others.

It is my goal to make sure my baddies not only know this truth but embody this truth.

Definition of self-validation

: the feeling of having recognized, confirmed, or established one’s own worthiness or legitimacy

It is so important to living your best life to be able to not only boost yourself up and love yourself, but to confirm, know, and recognize your own worthiness. This should stand alone and come from within- without the input of anything outside of self. Below I have given a few sentiments to think about to start reminding yourself of your worth.
  • A lion does not concern itself with the opinions of sheep.

It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. As you go on your journey you might get discouraged by opinions or negativity of others – don’t. It doesnt matter if the negative comments are pointed at you or not. Do not waiver or get wrapped up in lower level thinking and walk in your worthiness and self love.


  • Be kind to yourself and give grace.

Give yourself time if needed. Give yourself love when you need it. Do not give yourself undue pressure or hold yourself to some erroneous standard. Treat yourself as you would your best friend – kindly and patiently.

The way you talk to yourself and treat yourself can inform a lot about your experience in the world.

If you think you are worthless, then you may act as if you are worthless, and others may treat you as if you are worthless. It is a self-fulfilling prophecy.


“Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent – Eleanor Roosevelt”


  • Fill yourself daily

Make sure your cup run-eth over. You don’t need words or opinions of others as validation to know your special or amazing. Fill yourself before trying to fill someone else. You need to be a whole/full individual to have extra for others.

Daily Affirmations are an extremely useful tool to fill yourself up. Repetition becomes an ingrained habit. And it is great thing to think you are worthwhile as a habit.


  • Have an abundance mindset.

Begin to operate from the mind frame of excess and abundance not from lack. In other words, you are powerful and have a lot to offer. You are not a victim but a champion in your own right. Pour into yourself with positive speech today. (NAME 10 things you like about yourself…GO!)

“I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me.”
– Al Franken as Stuart Smalley

All of our experiences make us who we are. And I wouldn’t trade an experience for anything. It is what we can learn from these experiences and how we can grow that brings the value from the pain. BBA was created to fuel and motivate and encourage all women to know our worth and realize that there is a bad bitch in all of us.

The Declaration of Self Esteem below by Virginia Satir has some of the same truths and themes you’ll see throughout Bad Bitch Affirmations, and it was only fitting that I should share it with you all below. Let the words really sink in.


Declaration of self esteem –

the Declaration of Self-Esteem by Virginia Satir

“In all the world there is not one exactly like me. Everything that comes out of me is authentically mine because I choose it…I own everything about me, my body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions whether they be to others or to myself…I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears…I own all of my triumphs and successes, all of my failures and mistakes…because I own all of me. I become intimately acquainted with me…by so doing, I can love me and be friendly with me in all my parts…I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me and other aspects I do not know…but as long as I am friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously and hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles and for ways to find out more about me…however I look and sound whatever I say and do, and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically me…if later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought and felt turned out to be unfitting, I can discard that which is unfitting and keep the rest and invest something new for that which is I discard…I can see, hear, feel, think, say and do. I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me…I own me and therefore I can engineer me…I am me and I AM OKAY.”







The next year will be the beginning of a new decade. 2020! During these last couple of months work on tying up any loose ends and starting the next year with a bang! Below is a bucket list that should be able to help you create the life you wantAutumn buckettlist

Visualize the new year and start setting things up for it.

With only a few months until the new year, why not get prepared ahead of time. Tie up any loose ends. Close any unfinished chapters and prepare yourself for a clean slate.

Do a mental/spiritual/physical detox

A detoxification is an amazing thing to do. If you haven’t ever detoxed or tried a cleanse There are many wonderful fasting, cleansing, and detoxification programs out there.

Break through your plateaus- push through for the next 3 months.

What have you been stuck on? What’s something you struggle with? Make waves towards your goals now.

Forgive yourself for past hurts and disappointments

Now is the time to work through your past, and free yourself in the new year. It may not be a quick process but what better time than now to start chipping away at disappointments and pain.

Choose the positive mind-frame.

Don’t believe those thoughts that life is against you. Make a conscious decision to live in a positive world.


Show love for yourself and this vessel that you are in and exercise. Do it for yourself, do it for your family and those that love you, and do it for your future. Don’t you want to feel amazing in your body.

Get shit done.

Don’t wait for motivation. Commit to finishing what you started.

Audit the things that do not bring you happiness

Leave those things in 2019.

Spend time with those you love.

Quality time is so important. You don’t want to miss out on creating lasting memories.


Vision Board – Cultivating your personal vision for your 2019

One major key  *insert khalid voice* to manifesting your desires and creating the life you want in 2019 lies in a powerful tool that many successful people have used and continue to use today. This tool has some great potential to transform your year and upgrade your life, with careful consideration and a little effort. Continue reading below to learn all about the illustrious vision board, how you can create your own, and how your board can get you on the path to start your new year on the up-swing.


Ok, so what is a vision board?

A vision board, also known as a dream board, treasure map, or vision map, is a tool used to help you focus on your visions, your dreams and your goals. It can be on a board, a series of post-its, or even a piece of notebook paper. It doesn’t really matter, as long as it is has your ideas on it.

Using visualization, the law of attraction, and intentions, a vision board will keep your goals in the forefront of you mind, act as a catalyst to catapult towards your desires, and can act as a road-map to take you to where you want to go.

“If you want to be happy, set a goal that commands your thoughts, liberates your energy and inspires your hopes.” —Andrew Carnegie

Examples of some beautiful mood boards

Also, see Amber Scholl’s – mood board video on Youtube. This is a prime example of how vision boards can work for you. Click Here


How to create your own vision board.

Take some time to gather your ideas, dreams, and desires.

Ask yourself what do you want out of life? Think about a range of categories such as: love, fitness, growth, career, money, family, health, travel, adventures, and your ambitions.

“Without leaps of imagination or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities. Dreaming, after all is a form of planning.”
Gloria Steinem


Focus and be specific.

When writing the things you want be specific about what it is. Do not just put “I want to lose weight.” It is more beneficial if you put something like “I want to lose 10lbs in by June.” This will allow you to set a time line and create a goal you can actually act on.

Fearless ambition is key. Be BOLD. Think big as well as small.

Do not limit yourself to things that you think you definitely can achieve. The world is your oyster. Reach out and grab it what you want. Dream a little. Write out things that may be a challenge, that you have no idea of how you can achieve, and may be so big you don’t know where to start. These bold declarations are the things that will really allow yourself to see the power in yourself and your determination.

Build your board.

Gather your ideas, dreams, and desires, post-its, photos, trinkets, and all other inspirations and place them on your board. Arrange them. Re-arrange them. Get creative and make a board that is uniquely your own.

Place it where you can see it regularly.

Place your board in a prominent place where you’ll be able to see it often and can focus on it. The key to creating this board is not just to write down your desires, but to keep those things in your mind as you continue to work towards them.

All talk and no action is worthless

Our goals can only be reached through a vehicle of a plan, in which we must fervently believe, and upon which we must vigorously act. There is no other route to success.” —Pablo Picasso

Now is the fun part. Do something. Take little step. Turn those steps in to great strides. Work backwards and create a do-able action plan. Look at your vision board and create creative ways that you can make those desires a reality.


And finally, do easy on yourself if you do not meet all of your goals within the time frames you’ve set. Keep trying and be relentless as we all are worth the things we desire, it’s just a matter of going out there and getting it. And I believe without a doubt that you can do great things.

 “All who have accomplished great things have had a great aim, have fixed their gaze on a goal which was high, one which sometimes seemed impossible.” —Orison Swett Marden



Come back next week when we talk about goal slaying. I will go into some helpful hints to help you stay on top of your goals and realizing each and every one of them.


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