Tag: goals

The Secrets to processing big emotions, fears and traumas – Self-Soothing Techniques  + our nervous systems #What’s next? (2)

Hey Baddies

More about our nervous system…

Bet you didn’t know that the nervous system affects more than just the nerves in our body. 

The Latin derivative for the word emotion, ‘emotere’, literally means energy in motion. It is the feeling sensation and physiological reaction that makes a specific emotion positive or negative.

When we have pent up or unresolved emotion (energy in motion) we can affect our physical body. This is part of the mind-body connection.

Our mental states has some influence over our physical states.

When we experience any of the following

  • Trauma
  • Infections
  • Degeneration
  • Structural defects
  • Tumors
  • Blood flow disruption
  • Autoimmune disorders

Our nervous systems may react and we can experience

  • Headaches
  • Anxiety
  • Memory loss
  • Depression
  • Lack of coordination
  • Muscle rigidity

“Don’t let people who don’t care about you, manipulate your mind, feelings and emotions or control how you think about yourself. Never give that much power to someone else.”

― Karon Waddell

This is why it is so important to try and get ahead of any unprocessed fears, traumas, or emotions and  work through them as best as we can. 

How do we work through? We work on mindfulness and self-soothing.

So, you’ve soothed yourself and calmed down…what’s next?

Now it’s time to reflect. Become aware and mindful of how you react during situations. Lets come up with a game plan for the next time a situation arises.

Here are a few reflective questions and journal prompts to ask yourself.

  • Consider what happened…what triggered you? 
  • How did you feel?
  • What emotions came up? 
  • What did you tell yourself about what happened? 
  • What is your belief system saying? 
  • What was your initial thought?
  • What were the consequences?
  • How do you think it made you look?
  • Can you see another side? 
  • Can you dispute your thoughts? 
  • Are you thinking rationally? 
  • Did you have all the information?
  • Did you ask all the questions you could?
  • What can you do differently the next time?

The next time you find yourself in a touch situation either emotionally or externally, you now have a few tools to help slowdown any impulsive or reckless actions due to being trigger and have learned how to lean into your body and ground yourself in mindfulness.

Remember to use the journal prompts as a tool to gain more insight into who you are and what trigger you. When you have the knowledge you have the control and power.

These steps are sure to help you change those lemons into sparkling lemonade. You got this.

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The secrets to processing big emotions, fears and traumas – Self-Soothing Techniques #All the feels. (1)

Hey Baddies! Imagine this: You just got in a horrible fight with your significant other and are raging…what do you do? You hear your co-workers whispering about you and feel disrespected…what’s your next move? You have experienced a major loss …how do you handle this? Life really has a way of throwing challenges our way…

30 ways to a better & brighter day + tips for releasing negative emotions and stress. Learn to self regulate today! (#calm down)

Hey Baddies, this next statement may surprise you… “The truth is that stress doesn’t come from your boss, your kids, your spouse, traffic jams, health challenges, or other circumstances. It comes from your thoughts about your circumstances.”―Andrew Bernstein Oof, that’s a tough quote. Essentially, its saying that we have more control over our lives and…

The secrets to processing big emotions, fears and traumas – Self-Soothing Techniques #All the feels. (1)

Hey Baddies!

Imagine this:

You just got in a horrible fight with your significant other and are raging…what do you do?

You hear your co-workers whispering about you and feel disrespected…what’s your next move?

You have experienced a major loss …how do you handle this?

Life really has a way of throwing challenges our way at the most inopportune times.  It seems like when it rains it always pours and it is often easier said than done to make lemons out of lemonade. 

When you go through a tough time or a difficult moment, do you lose control? Do become hasty and say or do things you regret later? Do you take a moment and think?

Sometimes the only thing you can do in the moment is pause and make sure to care for yourself so that you can handle the situation ahead of you.  

Our mental states have a major effect on our physical states.

In our physical body we have a nervous system. “The nervous system is a complex, sophisticated system that regulates and coordinates body activities”

Our nervous systems have a way of taking over and causing us to react in different ways. The nervous system is there to act as our protection and preservation mechanism. When we are stressed or experience trauma, we can begin to see the effects in our physical body through things like headaches, loss of feeling or tingling, weakness or loss of muscle strength, sometimes memory loss. 

How to do we help prevent this?

Let’s talk about mindfulness and self-soothing. 

Mindfulness is a mental state where we become aware the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one’s feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations, used as a therapeutic technique. We become in tune with our physical and mental states.

When we are aware we can then soothe and calm our nervous system. 

Mindfulness is a way of befriending ourselves and our experience.

-Jon Kabat-Zinn

A lot of times this includes breathwork, or conscious breathing, moments of silence, or stillness.

I have listed a few ways to practice self-soothing and calming techniques that will help allow feelings to flow through you and out instead of trapping it inside.

  • Express: This could mean writing it out, shaking it out, singing it out, exercise it out, talk it out. Get the energy out of your body any way you know how. Circulate it the energy. When you are going through a tough time, it helps to express those feelings. Respectfully.
  • Give Grace: Do not spiral into negative feelings or self-doubt. Inopportune situations happen all the time to everybody. Period. Allow yourself to feel. It is ok. You have been through tough things before. Honor your feelings. Do not fight them and move them along.
  • Give yourself time: If it takes you an hour to process or 2 months. That is ok, as long as you process. Many circumstances will come and challenge us in ways we may not understand or see coming. Its ok not to rush through.
  • Don’t be rash: Try not to make any serious decisions when you are processing trauma or in an emotional state. You may make a rash decision out of fear. Breathe. Most things do not have to be fixed right in this moment.
  • Cover yourself with love: Reach out to friends, family and loved ones. Some may not know you are going through something. Don’t be afraid to ask for support during tough times. You may be surprised how some will show up for you.
  • Remember that this issue or problem is temporary: Life will constantly throw curveballs. They all have passed and will continue to pass. It will get better.
  • Empower yourself: Remember that you are a power and strong force to be reckoned with. You have gone through tough things before. Affirm yourself. Build yourself up. Do not forget that you can handle situations and setbacks.

When we are flooded with intense emotion (energy in motion) we want to help it flow out. Keeping that energy pent up is the opposite of what we want to do for our health and wellbeing.

The next time a situation arises, consider some of these tips and let me know how they help.

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The Secrets to processing big emotions, fears and traumas – Self-Soothing Techniques  + our nervous systems #What’s next? (2)

Hey Baddies More about our nervous system… Bet you didn’t know that the nervous system affects more than just the nerves in our body.  The Latin derivative for the word emotion, ’emotere’, literally means energy in motion. It is the feeling sensation and physiological reaction that makes a specific emotion positive or negative. When we…

30 Actionable Ways to Achieve a Greater Connection with “self” TODAY + Practice Peace and Gain Confidence 

Hey Baddies, As we learn about self-regulating and self-soothing – we have discussed “feeling triggered.” But what exactly is feeling triggered and how can you learn more about your own triggers? “Feeling triggered isn’t just about something rubbing you the wrong way. For someone with a history of trauma, being around anything that reminds them…

How to Get The Most Out of a SELF CARE September + 20 Self-Date ideas

Hey Baddies,  Self-care is so essential but is often neglected. We often forget that taking care of our mind body and spirit are essential to a full, healthy, happy life. I, for one, have the habit of neglecting myself until my tank is essentially on empty.  “If you feel “burnout” setting in, if you feel…

30 ways to a better & brighter day + tips for releasing negative emotions and stress. Learn to self regulate today! (#calm down)

Hey Baddies, this next statement may surprise you…

“The truth is that stress doesn’t come from your boss, your kids, your spouse, traffic jams, health challenges, or other circumstances. It comes from your thoughts about your circumstances.”
―Andrew Bernstein

Oof, that’s a tough quote.

Essentially, its saying that we have more control over our lives and how we react to stress, than we think. 

Stress is a feeling of emotional or physical tension which can stem from our reactions and thoughts to an event or circumstance.

Did you know that we sometimes subconsciously choose to think in a way that causes us to feel stressed (usually out of habit) and that, with some practice, we can change and decide not to feel those stress emotions?

Easier said than done right? 

There are a lot of ways that we can begin to start to control or regulate stress but like with any muscle, it takes some time to build up that control.

One tool is mindfulness. Beginning a mindfulness journey and becoming aware of your triggers will help slow down the knee-jerk reactions. Another tool is separation. Removing yourself or separating from situations, conversations, or circumstances that you know cause those feelings to come up for you.

Remember we are aiming for emotional regulation…not repression.

  1. We want to start by identifying what you are feeling. Give the emotion a name. If you do not know the name start big (with simple words) and zone in. Example…I feel sad, scared, or mad.
  2. Accept the emotion. Make peace with the fact that the feelings are present. Breathe and do not be too hasty to change your emotional state.
  3. Be kind to yourself and non-judgmental. Watch your inner dialog. Do not talk negatively about how you feel and start to regulate.

Below I have come up with 30 ways to relieve stress and emotional pain and begin to reframe situations and self-regulate. 

  • Breathe – take a few deep, calming breaths and collect yourself
  • Therapy  – talking to someone who is trained in helping is always a great idea
  • Read – take your mind elsewhere for a moment
  • Make an action plan – decide on what you will do if/when you are in a similar situation again
  • Research how others overcame – there is someone out there who has gone through the same thing. Figure out how they coped
  • Reorganize – clear out clutter or clean your space to help clear your mind.
  • Look at childhood /limiting beliefs – figure out where the habits come from
  • Work on goals – put that extra energy into something worthwhile
  • Create art – express through different mediums
  • Validate yourself – remember that you are valid
  • Re-channel energy- figure out an outlet that works for you
  • Write – another form of expression
  • Give yourself time – take a moment
  • Allow yourself to feel – sit in your feelings without judgment
  • Don’t overanalyze – sometimes the best thing you can do is to just let it be without thinking too hard
  • Don’t pressure yourself – relax and know that the strong emotions will pass
  • Cry – let it out if that’s what feels right
  • Scream into a pillow – let it out if that’s what feels right
  • Sing – sound is very cathartic
  • Dance – physical movement is healing as well
  • Exercise – the endorphins will have you feeling great and accomplished
  • Get in the sun – Vitamin D is necessary
  • Look at your triggers – learning what sets you off can help you in the future
  • Drink water – cleanse your physical body
  • Read – start reading self empowerment books
  • Seek friends – talk to your closest friends
  • Change perspective – think about things from a different point of view
  • Meditate – breathe deep and re-focus
  • Journal – write about the problem or use the journal to switch focus
  • Consistently care for yourself – making sure to care for your mental and physical health regularly will help ensure you are not drawing from an empty well

Consider this: The Latin derivative for the word emotion, ’emotere’, literally means energy in motion.

These 30 ideas are literal ways for processing emotions and moving the energy through your body.  As you practice and become more aware of triggers it all will get easier. Sooner or later, you will find that what used to set you off doesn’t phase you anymore. Get excited! Better days are coming!!

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Meditation | Mental Health Awareness | 4 M’s of May

Meditation is another powerful way to bring mental clarity and ground yourself. I believe everyone can benefit from meditation. Verywellmind.com defines meditation as… a set of techniques that are intended to encourage a heightened state of awareness and focused attention. Meditation is also a consciousness-changing technique that has been shown to have a wide number…

A BBA Guide: Learn Great Ways to Stay Motivated and Take Massive Action Towards Goals. Eliminate Risk of Failure and Get Big Shit Done with These Tips!

We all struggle with motivation. The feelings of being inspired and energized and ready to go are so fleeting.

Tony Robbins says feeling motivated is an emotion and emotions are energy in motion.

In other words, to feel the emotion of motivation you must change your emotional state with energy. You must create this energy and then you can create or fuel your motivation.

You must create the motivation, instead of waiting for it. You can not wait for the emotion of motivation to come. You must create it by doing.

 

This sentiment is true for not only motivation, but so many other things in life. You often need to create the things you want and need in life. Feeling motivated won’t always happen when you want it to. Chances are more likely that it will not find you if you are just sitting around waiting for the feeling to hit. Additionally, if you aren’t in the state to receive it, you may miss the window of opportunity. The key is to create the motivation for yourself.  You have to get out there and make it happen.

This is perfect for the new year! in 2020 commit to creating your motivation instead of waiting for the feeling to hit!

 

“Infuse your life with action. Don’t wait for it to happen. Make it happen. Make your own future. Make your own hope. Make your own love. And whatever your beliefs, honor your creator, not by passively waiting for grace to come down from upon high, but by doing what you can to make grace happen… yourself, right now, right down here on Earth.” -Bradley Whitford

This quote says it all. We have a say in the way our life goes. We don’t have to let life just happen to us. Think of how you can’t always wait for the perfect job  or wait to be invited to hang with friends. In those situations, you might have to create an event and invite them or go out and create your ideal job. The same is true for motivation.

Below I have listed 6 ways to grab and create motivation. Keep reading!

 

Read more about how to MANIFEST MORE SUCCESS! Click HERE

 

Join and become part of the inner circle! Being a part of the BADDIES ELITE CLUB  HERE!

 

Immerse yourself

Surround yourself with things that motivate you.

Create a Vision Board (Click Here to read more on vision boards  and cultivating you personal vision). Hang with friends. Keep photos and  reminders and fully immerse yourself in the things you are trying to do, create, or manifest. This will keep it in the forefront of your brain, and keep you motivated.

 

Take Massive Action

In other words…Just Do It!

You don’t make a change by doing the bare minimum. You won’t see changes form from taking shortcuts. You can’t see change by staying in your comfort zone.

You must work – hard. When I say push yourself you need to go further than you’ve gone before, daily, go further than you’re comfortable with. You need to do more than you had thought you could.

 Motivation is an emotion and emotions are fleeting & based off many factors. The B.B. tip is that you just do it. Motivated or not.

 

Accountability 

Get a partner. Set a reminder. Create a reward system. If you need a team or group get one. If you need reminders, set them. Accountability partners have proven to keep you motivated and help with reaching goals.

 

Mindset

Change your outlook on the situation from negative to positive. Consider changing from “I have to go to work today” to “I get to go to work to today.” Just that small change in perspective can do wonders for motivation. 

30 day gratitude journal (2)HAVE YOU GOTTEN YOUR COPY OF THE GRATITUDE JOURNAL? CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD NOW!

 

Create a plan and stick to it.

We can’t just talk about what we want, dream about what we want, think about what we want and expect it to happen with just thoughts and hopes alone.  We have to take BIG ACTION toward our goals, create a plan and stick with it.  Having a plan and a calendar can take out the guess work of what you need to do next when your motivation is low. That would just contribute to another excuse as to why you cant do something.

Eliminate the excuses by doing a little of extra work in the front end by creating a plan and the hard work is over. All you have to do is stick with it.

I believe that anyone can have whatever they want in life, if they work toward it consistently.

Honor your word to yourself. Don’t you want to be the type that says they’ll do something and always come through.

Be the one to actualize your dreams and slay! Click [here] for tips for your own ACTION PLAN

Read more about the Consistency Calendar and Action Planner HERE!

 

If you want a 1% life you need to put in 1% work – Gary V

Lastly – get excited to grow and move past your comfort zones. Remember what your reason is for the goal or the desired outcome. That will help carry you through the times where motivation is low. We have the abilities to create the outcomes we want, make shit happen, and get shit done. I encourage you all to take life by the horns and create the sparks you need.

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A Bad Bitch’s Guide: How to Eliminate Jealousy and Cut Down Unnecessary Comparison. Tips to Walk in Your Power.

In the BB Guide to Self- Validation, we learned that we are all so unique and beautifully made. Being our complete selves and taking up space is so important. We have the ability to build ourselves up and we do not need the opinions of others to know that we are worthwhile. But…sometimes comparison and jealousy will still set in.

We all do it. Every once in a while, that green-eyed monster will creep in an we will get jealous and envious of what others have or have accomplished. You will see another’s journey and look at yours and start to feel inadequate, or lost, or stagnant. You might feel like they’ve accomplished so much while you haven’t. Or you might feel like they have so much while you may not. We all know social media is a big proponent of this.

It’s time we stop comparing our lives to other people’s lives. Stop comparing our struggles to other people’s struggles. And stop comparing our journeys to other people’s journeys. Periodt.

“Comparison Is the Thief of Joy” -Theodore Roosevelt

Life is short. It is my goal to make sure my baddies are living their best lives by bringing in all the wonderful and happy things into their lives and not focusing on being jealous of others, comparing themselves with others and focusing on any other things that make our experience on earth painful, or malcontent. Focusing on unnecessary, low vibrational and, often times, false thoughts does not fall in line with living our best lives or being a bad bitch.

In this guide I have comprised some thoughts and sentiments to remember when you start to feel jealous, as well as a few tips to eliminate comparison all together. Keep reading below.

Think about this…You can think something but you do not know that it is true until you really know.

Have you ever created a whole story in your head or a scenario that you swore were facts, until you asked someone about what you thought to be true and it was the complete opposite?

Have you ever assumed something to be true but it turned out to be an overactive imagination and overthinking masked as false intuition?

Have you ever received part of a story and assumed you knew the whole story, and started making plans based on half information?

I definitely have. Prime example – Wondering why someone was not texting me back, spiraled into me being so sure that they were texting who I considered to be competition, which turned into me becoming jealous and almost flying off the handle from pure assumption and a jealousy induced rage, or anxiety.

I’ve learned that asking the questions can eliminate a lot of unnecessary drama.

You can not be too afraid of the answer to ask the question – Iyanla Vanzant

Remember that your thoughts are not always based in reality or true.

At the same time the grass may look greener but there is always more to the story. A person may have something you covet but who knows what they had to do to get it. Additionally, they may have one thing that looks great but are lacking in so many other ways. You never know the full truth of a situation.

Do not be afraid to ask questions.

This will eliminate comparison, drama, pointless jealousy and envy.

 

Whatever you are jealous of, remember that you can have it to.

Most of the time we feel jealousy or resentment because deep down we want what they have. Well, I’m here to tell you that we can absolutely have what they have.

If I’m jealous because I see someone with a “perfect” body, and I’m not doing all I can to become happy with my body…what am I really feeling these covetous feelings for? I am not doing all I can for me.

If I’m feeling jealous because I see my friend has an adventurous life, with lots of friends, and travels often, and I want that too, there is a fairly simple solution. I need to go out and create that for me too.

“If you want a 1% life you need to do 1% work – Gary V”

Create the life you want.

Gratitude

Ok, now it is true that some circumstances are out of our control. And maybe you’re not jealous but you are comparing your circumstance to others and are not happy. This is where gratitude comes in.

30 day gratitude journal (2)HAVE YOU GOTTEN YOUR COPY OF THE GRATITUDE JOURNAL? CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD NOW!

Gratitude is the most important tip in all of this. It is essentially the cheat code for happiness

“Gratitude is the healthiest of all human emotions. The more you express gratitude for what you have, the more likely you will have even more to express gratitude for.” —Zig Ziglar

 

We must be grateful for wheat we have, what we are going to receive, what others have been given, our protection, our blessings in general. There are so many things to be grateful for

I have said it before that we have a say in our happiness and in our lives in general. It is wasted energy to wallow in jealousy when we could be doing what we could to create our own wonderful, exciting, adventurous lives. If you want it, be happy that others have this fantastic thing and figure out how to create it in your own life too. But above all of that – be grateful for what you have been given today! Sometimes we get so caught up in our daily grind that we forget that we have been so immensely blessed. I want to encourage all of my baddies to take some time to practice gratitude.

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A Bad Bitch’s Guide to Self-Validation. Learn your worth and how to Boost your self-love!

There was a time in my life when I felt like I needed the approval of others to feel like I was worth anything. Although I have consistently found myself to be a confident person as far as my abilities, I did not have the same confidence in relationships. I remember specifically thinking to myself, “if I give more in this relationship, then they would see how amazing I am, and would need me more,” not realizing that I was giving so much with the hopes of receiving the little scraps in return that I subconsciously thought I was worth. I was not reading the signs and would easily become blinded by the little amount being reciprocated, if at all, and thinking it was a grand gesture.

It took about 1 good heartbreak to realize…. “No – I really am amazing and I deserve so much more.” I felt the so sad and unhappy and allowed myself to feel the pain for about 1 week, trying to figure out how I walked myself into this pain. After the week was up I decided it was time to move and change.I used the Feel and Form Method.

I used the Feel and Form Method. Click to read more about a method to get back on your feet after you’ve gone through a hard time.

I needed to figure out how I can prevent myself from going through this same situation again, and why I was settling for less, and what in my past informed why I thought that was ok. From then I moved differently. Purposefully went outside of my comfort zone to prove to myself that I can do what I put my mind to. I went after new experiences and went on a self-discovery journey to build myself up. No longer settling for scraps.

This is one reason why I am so passionate about Bad Bitch Affirmations. I want others to know that we do not need to be validated or built up by anyone else.

We can give to ourselves. We can love ourselves. We can validate ourselves.

A key to be a true BB is wearing your crown, knowing your worth, and giving yourself your flowers (accolades) without the need of validation from others.

It is my goal to make sure my baddies not only know this truth but embody this truth.

Definition of self-validation

: the feeling of having recognized, confirmed, or established one’s own worthiness or legitimacy

It is so important to living your best life to be able to not only boost yourself up and love yourself, but to confirm, know, and recognize your own worthiness. This should stand alone and come from within- without the input of anything outside of self. Below I have given a few sentiments to think about to start reminding yourself of your worth.

  • A lion does not concern itself with the opinions of sheep.

It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. As you go on your journey you might get discouraged by opinions or negativity of others – don’t. It doesnt matter if the negative comments are pointed at you or not. Do not waiver or get wrapped up in lower level thinking and walk in your worthiness and self love.

 

  • Be kind to yourself and give grace.

Give yourself time if needed. Give yourself love when you need it. Do not give yourself undue pressure or hold yourself to some erroneous standard. Treat yourself as you would your best friend – kindly and patiently.

The way you talk to yourself and treat yourself can inform a lot about your experience in the world.

If you think you are worthless, then you may act as if you are worthless, and others may treat you as if you are worthless. It is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

 

“Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent – Eleanor Roosevelt”

 

  • Fill yourself daily

Make sure your cup run-eth over. You don’t need words or opinions of others as validation to know your special or amazing. Fill yourself before trying to fill someone else. You need to be a whole/full individual to have extra for others.

Daily Affirmations are an extremely useful tool to fill yourself up. Repetition becomes an ingrained habit. And it is great thing to think you are worthwhile as a habit.

 

  • Have an abundance mindset.

Begin to operate from the mind frame of excess and abundance not from lack. In other words, you are powerful and have a lot to offer. You are not a victim but a champion in your own right. Pour into yourself with positive speech today. (NAME 10 things you like about yourself…GO!)

“I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me.”
– Al Franken as Stuart Smalley

All of our experiences make us who we are. And I wouldn’t trade an experience for anything. It is what we can learn from these experiences and how we can grow that brings the value from the pain. BBA was created to fuel and motivate and encourage all women to know our worth and realize that there is a bad bitch in all of us.

The Declaration of Self Esteem below by Virginia Satir has some of the same truths and themes you’ll see throughout Bad Bitch Affirmations, and it was only fitting that I should share it with you all below. Let the words really sink in.

 

Declaration of self esteem –

the Declaration of Self-Esteem by Virginia Satir

“In all the world there is not one exactly like me. Everything that comes out of me is authentically mine because I choose it…I own everything about me, my body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions whether they be to others or to myself…I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears…I own all of my triumphs and successes, all of my failures and mistakes…because I own all of me. I become intimately acquainted with me…by so doing, I can love me and be friendly with me in all my parts…I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me and other aspects I do not know…but as long as I am friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously and hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles and for ways to find out more about me…however I look and sound whatever I say and do, and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically me…if later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought and felt turned out to be unfitting, I can discard that which is unfitting and keep the rest and invest something new for that which is I discard…I can see, hear, feel, think, say and do. I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me…I own me and therefore I can engineer me…I am me and I AM OKAY.”

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30 day gratitude journal (2)HAVE YOU GOTTEN YOUR COPY OF THE GRATITUDE JOURNAL? CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD NOW!

 

A BBA Guide: 8 Easy Ways to Deal with Disappointment and Create MORE SATISFACTION in your life TODAY

Disappointment is a common occurrence in life. It happens to everyone, all the time. But it can still leave us feeling down and frustrated when things don’t go our way. If you’ve ever dealt with an unexpected breakup, or not getting that promotion, or even cancelled plans, you understand how easy it is to feel let down. In a world with so many variables, possible outcomes, and where others have agency and free will, disappointment is bound to happen to all of us eventually.

Although you may not be able to change things when circumstances don’t go as planned, you can change your outlook and your reactions to them. You can change yourself.

There are ways to manage, survive and even thrive when frustrating situations hit. You can deal with situations in a different way, limit feeling disappointed and not let it affect you so much. In this post I will give you 8 ways to not only deal with disappointment but create more satisfaction in your life today.

Life is short. Wouldn’t it be amazing to have a life hack to make our time here as enjoyable as possible? Click to learn my favorite tips creating a happy life with the POSITIVITY SWITCH.

Count your blessings

This should always be one of the first things we do – period. But the feeling should be amplified when dealing with disappointing situations. Do not forget how blessed you are. If you’re reading this then you’re already more blessed than a lot of people. Gratitude will allow you to see the world in a new light and bring some tranquility to mind.

“When we focus on our gratitude, the tide of disappointment goes out and the tide of love rushes in.” – Kristin Armstrong

Come from a place of power.

Remember that you are not a bystander in your life and even if things do not work out with this situation, you won’t be defeated. Look for opportunities of growth and lessons that can be learned. Lean into those situations.

Flow State

Practice flowing and being like water. Flow state is a conscious state of being fully present, focused in the now, and allowing happiness and contentment with no room for self-consciousness. Also, could be described as rolling with the punches or being in the zone.

When you allow yourself to enter flow state you do not leave much room for emotions such as anger, jealousy, envy, stress, aggression, competition, worry, and disappointment, all lower level ego-based emotions.

Release expectations and you release yourself.

Sometimes when you limit the strong attachments to one particular outcome you free yourself. You also allow other possible outcomes that can be better for you and more aligned for your path This is such an important point that I will expound upon soon.

Feel and Form a plan

Feel the emotions for a moment and then form a plan of action. I will never tell you not to feel emotions or tell you to stifle your feelings. It is human nature to feel it bad when situations do not go your way. The key is to allow yourself that moment, for a moment – then move – act. Do not wallow. Get to work.

(Stay turned for more on the Feel and Form method )

Fill your life with many exciting things.

This works by giving yourself many things to look forward to instead of just that one thing. That way if one thing doesn’t work out, you have many other things that will bring you joy. How does the saying go? Don’t put all your eggs in one basket. This will limit one situation holding so much weight in your life.

30 day gratitude journalHAVE YOU GOTTEN YOUR COPY OF THE GRATITUDE JOURNAL? CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD NOW!

Don’t give up.

If you are striving towards something and have been rejected in one way or another, Do not give up.

Re-frame your thinking and consider it a redirection instead of a rejection, and even a divine intervention.

Look at the big picture. When you come to realize that in the grand scheme of life, being rejected, or disappointment is not going to hold you back or even matter in the long run, you will already be miles ahead of others.

Most importantly – Make a conscious decision to move boldly as if the world is on your side.

It’s human nature to want to protect yourself and move with caution, but are you really living your best life if you walk around fearful? Use the negative emotions as a tool and a motivational factor instead.

And finally -I need to repeat this sentiment for the baddies in the back. Although you may not be able to change things when circumstances that don’t go as planned, you can change your outlook and your reactions to them. You can change yourself. It is my goals that my baddies are well equipped for the ups and downs in life and have tools to deal with disappointments in the best way. If you’ve found this helpful – let me know below. Id love to hear your stories.

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Manifest more Success! Learn the Secret to Endurance for your Long-Term Goals. The Importance of Regrouping and Taking Time for You!

How to endure for the long run and the importance of regrouping and taking time for you!

There are many times when life can get us down, we can feel overwhelmed when things do not go as planned. When this happens we may lose our vigor and motivation.

This is especially true when dealing with stress. During those times we can begin to operate in a way that is less than our best.

We start overthinking

We get personally offended at the slightest thing

We start to become overly controlling or possessive

We can become easily angered

These things all stem from fear and are of a low vibration. These mind frames do not feed us and these states do not uplift us.

When we start to feel this way, it is so important to take some time for ourselves to regroup, relieve stress, and refocus.

The Benefits of Taking a Break and Regrouping.

I listened to an entrepreneur speaker say the most damaging thing for a businesses “Start, Stop.” This is the idea that you may start on the project then stop then start again then stop, creating more and more distance between you and your goals.

Although I believe it can be harmful, in some senses, for momentum, for your mental state, this can be beneficial.

There is an advantage from those breaks in between. Those little spaces can create strength and growth like the spaces in between pillars that hold up a building.

The breaks you take are a chance for rest, relaxation and a chance to refocus. We also use those breaks to re-evaluate.

These times are an opportunity to really figure out what you want and re-enforce your desires.

Additionally, when you go through those breaks and come back re-energized, it creates a space where you’re better able to handle disappointments and pitfalls. Because of the time off, you may not crumble to the many unforeseen circumstances and potential burnout. Taking these breaks is integral and an important time to relax.

 

Burnout occurs when your body and mind can no longer keep up with the tasks you demand of them. Don’t try to force yourself to do the impossible. Delegate time for important tasks, but always be sure to leave time for relaxation and reflection.”

―Del Suggs

Remembering to take time for yourself. Relaxing is so important. It is the balance you need for working intensely and tirelessly. It’s all about balance.

So how do you make it through the long haul?

How do you make it to your long term goals?

Give yourself a break. And when you are back working – be consistent.

Endurance come from staying consistent. Do not rely on being motivated to be consistent. Motivation is fleeting. Create a plan. Include rest in your plan. And do it.

Image result for work when you don't feel like it

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