Tag: challenge

The Secrets to processing big emotions, fears and traumas – Self-Soothing Techniques  + our nervous systems #What’s next? (2)

Hey Baddies

More about our nervous system…

Bet you didn’t know that the nervous system affects more than just the nerves in our body. 

The Latin derivative for the word emotion, ‘emotere’, literally means energy in motion. It is the feeling sensation and physiological reaction that makes a specific emotion positive or negative.

When we have pent up or unresolved emotion (energy in motion) we can affect our physical body. This is part of the mind-body connection.

Our mental states has some influence over our physical states.

When we experience any of the following

  • Trauma
  • Infections
  • Degeneration
  • Structural defects
  • Tumors
  • Blood flow disruption
  • Autoimmune disorders

Our nervous systems may react and we can experience

  • Headaches
  • Anxiety
  • Memory loss
  • Depression
  • Lack of coordination
  • Muscle rigidity

“Don’t let people who don’t care about you, manipulate your mind, feelings and emotions or control how you think about yourself. Never give that much power to someone else.”

― Karon Waddell

This is why it is so important to try and get ahead of any unprocessed fears, traumas, or emotions and  work through them as best as we can. 

How do we work through? We work on mindfulness and self-soothing.

So, you’ve soothed yourself and calmed down…what’s next?

Now it’s time to reflect. Become aware and mindful of how you react during situations. Lets come up with a game plan for the next time a situation arises.

Here are a few reflective questions and journal prompts to ask yourself.

  • Consider what happened…what triggered you? 
  • How did you feel?
  • What emotions came up? 
  • What did you tell yourself about what happened? 
  • What is your belief system saying? 
  • What was your initial thought?
  • What were the consequences?
  • How do you think it made you look?
  • Can you see another side? 
  • Can you dispute your thoughts? 
  • Are you thinking rationally? 
  • Did you have all the information?
  • Did you ask all the questions you could?
  • What can you do differently the next time?

The next time you find yourself in a touch situation either emotionally or externally, you now have a few tools to help slowdown any impulsive or reckless actions due to being trigger and have learned how to lean into your body and ground yourself in mindfulness.

Remember to use the journal prompts as a tool to gain more insight into who you are and what trigger you. When you have the knowledge you have the control and power.

These steps are sure to help you change those lemons into sparkling lemonade. You got this.

Latest from the Blog

The secrets to processing big emotions, fears and traumas – Self-Soothing Techniques #All the feels. (1)

Hey Baddies! Imagine this: You just got in a horrible fight with your significant other and are raging…what do you do? You hear your co-workers whispering about you and feel disrespected…what’s your next move? You have experienced a major loss …how do you handle this? Life really has a way of throwing challenges our way…

30 ways to a better & brighter day + tips for releasing negative emotions and stress. Learn to self regulate today! (#calm down)

Hey Baddies, this next statement may surprise you… “The truth is that stress doesn’t come from your boss, your kids, your spouse, traffic jams, health challenges, or other circumstances. It comes from your thoughts about your circumstances.”―Andrew Bernstein Oof, that’s a tough quote. Essentially, its saying that we have more control over our lives and…

The secrets to processing big emotions, fears and traumas – Self-Soothing Techniques #All the feels. (1)

Hey Baddies!

Imagine this:

You just got in a horrible fight with your significant other and are raging…what do you do?

You hear your co-workers whispering about you and feel disrespected…what’s your next move?

You have experienced a major loss …how do you handle this?

Life really has a way of throwing challenges our way at the most inopportune times.  It seems like when it rains it always pours and it is often easier said than done to make lemons out of lemonade. 

When you go through a tough time or a difficult moment, do you lose control? Do become hasty and say or do things you regret later? Do you take a moment and think?

Sometimes the only thing you can do in the moment is pause and make sure to care for yourself so that you can handle the situation ahead of you.  

Our mental states have a major effect on our physical states.

In our physical body we have a nervous system. “The nervous system is a complex, sophisticated system that regulates and coordinates body activities”

Our nervous systems have a way of taking over and causing us to react in different ways. The nervous system is there to act as our protection and preservation mechanism. When we are stressed or experience trauma, we can begin to see the effects in our physical body through things like headaches, loss of feeling or tingling, weakness or loss of muscle strength, sometimes memory loss. 

How to do we help prevent this?

Let’s talk about mindfulness and self-soothing. 

Mindfulness is a mental state where we become aware the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one’s feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations, used as a therapeutic technique. We become in tune with our physical and mental states.

When we are aware we can then soothe and calm our nervous system. 

Mindfulness is a way of befriending ourselves and our experience.

-Jon Kabat-Zinn

A lot of times this includes breathwork, or conscious breathing, moments of silence, or stillness.

I have listed a few ways to practice self-soothing and calming techniques that will help allow feelings to flow through you and out instead of trapping it inside.

  • Express: This could mean writing it out, shaking it out, singing it out, exercise it out, talk it out. Get the energy out of your body any way you know how. Circulate it the energy. When you are going through a tough time, it helps to express those feelings. Respectfully.
  • Give Grace: Do not spiral into negative feelings or self-doubt. Inopportune situations happen all the time to everybody. Period. Allow yourself to feel. It is ok. You have been through tough things before. Honor your feelings. Do not fight them and move them along.
  • Give yourself time: If it takes you an hour to process or 2 months. That is ok, as long as you process. Many circumstances will come and challenge us in ways we may not understand or see coming. Its ok not to rush through.
  • Don’t be rash: Try not to make any serious decisions when you are processing trauma or in an emotional state. You may make a rash decision out of fear. Breathe. Most things do not have to be fixed right in this moment.
  • Cover yourself with love: Reach out to friends, family and loved ones. Some may not know you are going through something. Don’t be afraid to ask for support during tough times. You may be surprised how some will show up for you.
  • Remember that this issue or problem is temporary: Life will constantly throw curveballs. They all have passed and will continue to pass. It will get better.
  • Empower yourself: Remember that you are a power and strong force to be reckoned with. You have gone through tough things before. Affirm yourself. Build yourself up. Do not forget that you can handle situations and setbacks.

When we are flooded with intense emotion (energy in motion) we want to help it flow out. Keeping that energy pent up is the opposite of what we want to do for our health and wellbeing.

The next time a situation arises, consider some of these tips and let me know how they help.

Latest from the Blog

The Secrets to processing big emotions, fears and traumas – Self-Soothing Techniques  + our nervous systems #What’s next? (2)

Hey Baddies More about our nervous system… Bet you didn’t know that the nervous system affects more than just the nerves in our body.  The Latin derivative for the word emotion, ’emotere’, literally means energy in motion. It is the feeling sensation and physiological reaction that makes a specific emotion positive or negative. When we…

30 Actionable Ways to Achieve a Greater Connection with “self” TODAY + Practice Peace and Gain Confidence 

Hey Baddies, As we learn about self-regulating and self-soothing – we have discussed “feeling triggered.” But what exactly is feeling triggered and how can you learn more about your own triggers? “Feeling triggered isn’t just about something rubbing you the wrong way. For someone with a history of trauma, being around anything that reminds them…

How to Get The Most Out of a SELF CARE September + 20 Self-Date ideas

Hey Baddies,  Self-care is so essential but is often neglected. We often forget that taking care of our mind body and spirit are essential to a full, healthy, happy life. I, for one, have the habit of neglecting myself until my tank is essentially on empty.  “If you feel “burnout” setting in, if you feel…

30 ways to a better & brighter day + tips for releasing negative emotions and stress. Learn to self regulate today! (#calm down)

Hey Baddies, this next statement may surprise you…

“The truth is that stress doesn’t come from your boss, your kids, your spouse, traffic jams, health challenges, or other circumstances. It comes from your thoughts about your circumstances.”
―Andrew Bernstein

Oof, that’s a tough quote.

Essentially, its saying that we have more control over our lives and how we react to stress, than we think. 

Stress is a feeling of emotional or physical tension which can stem from our reactions and thoughts to an event or circumstance.

Did you know that we sometimes subconsciously choose to think in a way that causes us to feel stressed (usually out of habit) and that, with some practice, we can change and decide not to feel those stress emotions?

Easier said than done right? 

There are a lot of ways that we can begin to start to control or regulate stress but like with any muscle, it takes some time to build up that control.

One tool is mindfulness. Beginning a mindfulness journey and becoming aware of your triggers will help slow down the knee-jerk reactions. Another tool is separation. Removing yourself or separating from situations, conversations, or circumstances that you know cause those feelings to come up for you.

Remember we are aiming for emotional regulation…not repression.

  1. We want to start by identifying what you are feeling. Give the emotion a name. If you do not know the name start big (with simple words) and zone in. Example…I feel sad, scared, or mad.
  2. Accept the emotion. Make peace with the fact that the feelings are present. Breathe and do not be too hasty to change your emotional state.
  3. Be kind to yourself and non-judgmental. Watch your inner dialog. Do not talk negatively about how you feel and start to regulate.

Below I have come up with 30 ways to relieve stress and emotional pain and begin to reframe situations and self-regulate. 

  • Breathe – take a few deep, calming breaths and collect yourself
  • Therapy  – talking to someone who is trained in helping is always a great idea
  • Read – take your mind elsewhere for a moment
  • Make an action plan – decide on what you will do if/when you are in a similar situation again
  • Research how others overcame – there is someone out there who has gone through the same thing. Figure out how they coped
  • Reorganize – clear out clutter or clean your space to help clear your mind.
  • Look at childhood /limiting beliefs – figure out where the habits come from
  • Work on goals – put that extra energy into something worthwhile
  • Create art – express through different mediums
  • Validate yourself – remember that you are valid
  • Re-channel energy- figure out an outlet that works for you
  • Write – another form of expression
  • Give yourself time – take a moment
  • Allow yourself to feel – sit in your feelings without judgment
  • Don’t overanalyze – sometimes the best thing you can do is to just let it be without thinking too hard
  • Don’t pressure yourself – relax and know that the strong emotions will pass
  • Cry – let it out if that’s what feels right
  • Scream into a pillow – let it out if that’s what feels right
  • Sing – sound is very cathartic
  • Dance – physical movement is healing as well
  • Exercise – the endorphins will have you feeling great and accomplished
  • Get in the sun – Vitamin D is necessary
  • Look at your triggers – learning what sets you off can help you in the future
  • Drink water – cleanse your physical body
  • Read – start reading self empowerment books
  • Seek friends – talk to your closest friends
  • Change perspective – think about things from a different point of view
  • Meditate – breathe deep and re-focus
  • Journal – write about the problem or use the journal to switch focus
  • Consistently care for yourself – making sure to care for your mental and physical health regularly will help ensure you are not drawing from an empty well

Consider this: The Latin derivative for the word emotion, ’emotere’, literally means energy in motion.

These 30 ideas are literal ways for processing emotions and moving the energy through your body.  As you practice and become more aware of triggers it all will get easier. Sooner or later, you will find that what used to set you off doesn’t phase you anymore. Get excited! Better days are coming!!

Latest from the Blog

Meditation | Mental Health Awareness | 4 M’s of May

Meditation is another powerful way to bring mental clarity and ground yourself. I believe everyone can benefit from meditation. Verywellmind.com defines meditation as… a set of techniques that are intended to encourage a heightened state of awareness and focused attention. Meditation is also a consciousness-changing technique that has been shown to have a wide number…

30 Actionable Ways to Achieve a Greater Connection with “self” TODAY + Practice Peace and Gain Confidence 

Hey Baddies,

As we learn about self-regulating and self-soothing – we have discussed “feeling triggered.” But what exactly is feeling triggered and how can you learn more about your own triggers?

“Feeling triggered isn’t just about something rubbing you the wrong way. For someone with a history of trauma, being around anything that reminds them of a traumatic experience (also known as a “trigger”) can make them feel like they’re experiencing the trauma all over again.”

“Click here to read more : from http://www.verywellmind.com

Feeling triggered is a physical, and emotional response to a situation that is more than just feeling uncomfortable.

Think PTSD.

And it can happen for a range of reasons that you, as the individual, may or may not be aware of.

As we practice more mindfulness, some of our triggers will come to the surface. We may realize that as we dig deeper into who we are as individuals, we may be faced with some discomfort but it is important to connect with who you are so you can be more aware of you as we continue this journey. 

Remember that we have a goal of calming our nervous system when we are triggered and find ourselves having knee jerk reactions. This takes practice. 

So lets create the important habit and get into the routine of slowing down the knee jerk reactions and replace it with things that bring in more peace and calm states into our lives. 

Below there are 30 ways to start doing just that.

I have created a list to help you start connecting and discovering self. 

Consider write out your answers in a journal or a sacred space… and spend time listening, learning, and discovering. 

  1. The first step is always to breathe and regulate your physical nervous system…so breathe in…..and breathe out….
  2. Take a spiritual bath. Take care of your vessel/temple.
  3. Clean your space and fix your environment to bring you great energy.
  4. Call friends. Surround yourself with people + good energy
  5. Go sit in the sun. The sun has healing properties.
  6. Get “lost.” Go on an adventure.
  7. Watch a different type of movie. Try something different.
  8. Read a book or earn something new
  9. Spend time with an elder
  10. Exercise. Move your body
  11. Journal
  12. Meditate
  13. Make a bucket list and actually start crossing some things off.
  14. Sit in silence
  15. Practice something and work towards a goal
  16. Actually finish that thing you have been working on
  17. Write out a gratitude list
  18. Dance – turn the music up loud
  19. Sing
  20. Write a story, write poetry, do some research
  21. Play a sport – or learn one
  22. Visit a museum
  23. Create something
  24. Look at your accomplishments
  25. Take a risk. Push through your fears (you may surprise yourself)
  26. Sit in awe and enjoy the things/people you have in your life.
  27. Forgive others
  28. Drink water
  29. Treat yourself.  
  30. Pay attention to your emotions.

“Sometimes, you just need a break. In a beautiful place. Alone. To figure everything out.” 

These are just a few suggestions to help you connect with yourself.  Write down anything that you learned about yourself or how you have grown while doing these things. Think about how doing more of these tasks with yourself can help when you are in a stressful situation. Remember that we have a goal of calming our nervous system when we are triggered, and I know you can do it!

Latest from the Blog

Mantras | Mental Health Awareness | 4 M’s of May

Mantras are powerful words, chants, or sayings that are repeated and are often used in conjunction with meditation or manifestation and help influence actions and thought. Repeating a mantra to yourself is a great way to get centered and infuse day life with a peace, perspective, and positivity. They also serve as tools for great…

Manifesting | Mental Health Awareness | 4 M’s of May

When I first started my mindfulness journey, I soon began to be able to pinpoint my thoughts that led to other thoughts, that led to my actions, that let to me creating my own unhappiness or my own drama. I discovered my power and how my thoughts can turn into real things.  This is manifesting.…

Mindfulness | Mental Health Awareness | 4 M’s of May

Jumping in with both feet –Let’s start with Mindfulness. Mindfulness is so delicious. It is the root for the rest of the M ‘s in this series. Mindfulness is to be aware, attentive, thoughtful, alert, to be in your senses and/or conscious. Sit with that for a minute… Mindfulness has intentionality behind it. Mindfulness has…

How to Get The Most Out of a SELF CARE September + 20 Self-Date ideas

Hey Baddies, 

Self-care is so essential but is often neglected. We often forget that taking care of our mind body and spirit are essential to a full, healthy, happy life. I, for one, have the habit of neglecting myself until my tank is essentially on empty. 

“If you feel “burnout” setting in, if you feel demoralized and exhausted, it is best, for the sake of everyone, to withdraw and restore yourself.”

Dalai Lama

This is not good and it takes much more effort to recover from zero percent than at 30 percent. It is so important to take more breaks for ourselves. 

The key to a great Self-Care September, as well as a life full of self-care, is to schedule your “me-time.”

Put your “me-time” time on your calendar just like you would any other important event. It matters and your self-care matters too. 

Ideas for “Me-Time” – Self Date and Self Care

Self-care can look like a lot of things depending on what is needed.

For instance, if you are running on 2 hours of sleep, self-care for that situation should probably be stillness and rest.  But if you are feeling low or depressed, self-care may be an energizing and creative outing.

Organize and adjust your self-care to fit your unique need at the time.

I love this quote from Brene Brown: “Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love.”

The same sentiment should go for the time you spend with yourself:

Treat yourself as you would someone you love.  Spoil yourself the way you would spoil someone you love. Love on yourself the way you would someone you love. Date yourself the way you would date someone you love.

I want to encourage you to make it a part of your routine to spend some time pouring into yourself regularly and routinely. Take yourself on a date and enjoy yourself.

Below I have some tips and ideas below for your self-care dates that you can incorporate into your life.

Buy yourself flowers

Spend the night out of town- staycation

Take a trip to beach

Do karaoke

Try visiting an aquarium

Rent a fancy car

Try a mixology class

Take a spa day

Go to a gun range

Buy a new plant

Rent a movie

Paint and sip

Wear your pjs all day

Go bar hopping

Explore a jazz club

Set up a bonfire

Bake something new

Take yourself to a comedy show

Visit a botanical garden

Make ice-cream from scratch

“It is so important to take time for yourself and find clarity. The most important relationship is the one you have with yourself.” Diane Von Furstenberg

Need some more inspiration?

Try and make it a game. Put all the ideas in a jar and pick a random one out weekly. Create a bucket list and try to mark them all odd. Add some mindfulness and journal how you felt before and after.

These are just a few ideas that can help boost your self-care journey and help you stay in a positive state. Remember to schedule in your “me-time” on your calendar and modify for what you need. Become attuned to your needs and what fills you up and watch your life flourish.

Latest from the Blog

30 Affirmations to help super charge your new year |30 DAYS TO GREATNESS

30 Affirmations to inspire you and super charge your new year! The power of affirming yourself is unmatched when it comes to changing the way you think about yourself and what you can do! You should be your biggest cheerleader! Try building yourself up consistently with affirmations for 30 days and see the changes in…

30 Self-Care + Self-Tuning Meditations | 30 DAYS TO GREATNESS

“The more regularly and the more deeply you meditate, the sooner you will find yourself acting always from a center of peace.” – J. Donald Walters We are starting off with a bang! Meditation! This may be one of my favorite things to encourage people to do because the effects are so powerful. Meditation allows…

A BBA Guide: Learn Great Ways to Stay Motivated and Take Massive Action Towards Goals. Eliminate Risk of Failure and Get Big Shit Done with These Tips!

We all struggle with motivation. The feelings of being inspired and energized and ready to go are so fleeting.

Tony Robbins says feeling motivated is an emotion and emotions are energy in motion.

In other words, to feel the emotion of motivation you must change your emotional state with energy. You must create this energy and then you can create or fuel your motivation.

You must create the motivation, instead of waiting for it. You can not wait for the emotion of motivation to come. You must create it by doing.

 

This sentiment is true for not only motivation, but so many other things in life. You often need to create the things you want and need in life. Feeling motivated won’t always happen when you want it to. Chances are more likely that it will not find you if you are just sitting around waiting for the feeling to hit. Additionally, if you aren’t in the state to receive it, you may miss the window of opportunity. The key is to create the motivation for yourself.  You have to get out there and make it happen.

This is perfect for the new year! in 2020 commit to creating your motivation instead of waiting for the feeling to hit!

 

“Infuse your life with action. Don’t wait for it to happen. Make it happen. Make your own future. Make your own hope. Make your own love. And whatever your beliefs, honor your creator, not by passively waiting for grace to come down from upon high, but by doing what you can to make grace happen… yourself, right now, right down here on Earth.” -Bradley Whitford

This quote says it all. We have a say in the way our life goes. We don’t have to let life just happen to us. Think of how you can’t always wait for the perfect job  or wait to be invited to hang with friends. In those situations, you might have to create an event and invite them or go out and create your ideal job. The same is true for motivation.

Below I have listed 6 ways to grab and create motivation. Keep reading!

 

Read more about how to MANIFEST MORE SUCCESS! Click HERE

 

Join and become part of the inner circle! Being a part of the BADDIES ELITE CLUB  HERE!

 

Immerse yourself

Surround yourself with things that motivate you.

Create a Vision Board (Click Here to read more on vision boards  and cultivating you personal vision). Hang with friends. Keep photos and  reminders and fully immerse yourself in the things you are trying to do, create, or manifest. This will keep it in the forefront of your brain, and keep you motivated.

 

Take Massive Action

In other words…Just Do It!

You don’t make a change by doing the bare minimum. You won’t see changes form from taking shortcuts. You can’t see change by staying in your comfort zone.

You must work – hard. When I say push yourself you need to go further than you’ve gone before, daily, go further than you’re comfortable with. You need to do more than you had thought you could.

 Motivation is an emotion and emotions are fleeting & based off many factors. The B.B. tip is that you just do it. Motivated or not.

 

Accountability 

Get a partner. Set a reminder. Create a reward system. If you need a team or group get one. If you need reminders, set them. Accountability partners have proven to keep you motivated and help with reaching goals.

 

Mindset

Change your outlook on the situation from negative to positive. Consider changing from “I have to go to work today” to “I get to go to work to today.” Just that small change in perspective can do wonders for motivation. 

30 day gratitude journal (2)HAVE YOU GOTTEN YOUR COPY OF THE GRATITUDE JOURNAL? CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD NOW!

 

Create a plan and stick to it.

We can’t just talk about what we want, dream about what we want, think about what we want and expect it to happen with just thoughts and hopes alone.  We have to take BIG ACTION toward our goals, create a plan and stick with it.  Having a plan and a calendar can take out the guess work of what you need to do next when your motivation is low. That would just contribute to another excuse as to why you cant do something.

Eliminate the excuses by doing a little of extra work in the front end by creating a plan and the hard work is over. All you have to do is stick with it.

I believe that anyone can have whatever they want in life, if they work toward it consistently.

Honor your word to yourself. Don’t you want to be the type that says they’ll do something and always come through.

Be the one to actualize your dreams and slay! Click [here] for tips for your own ACTION PLAN

Read more about the Consistency Calendar and Action Planner HERE!

 

If you want a 1% life you need to put in 1% work – Gary V

Lastly – get excited to grow and move past your comfort zones. Remember what your reason is for the goal or the desired outcome. That will help carry you through the times where motivation is low. We have the abilities to create the outcomes we want, make shit happen, and get shit done. I encourage you all to take life by the horns and create the sparks you need.

signature

 

A Bad Bitch’s Guide: How to Eliminate Jealousy and Cut Down Unnecessary Comparison. Tips to Walk in Your Power.

In the BB Guide to Self- Validation, we learned that we are all so unique and beautifully made. Being our complete selves and taking up space is so important. We have the ability to build ourselves up and we do not need the opinions of others to know that we are worthwhile. But…sometimes comparison and jealousy will still set in.

We all do it. Every once in a while, that green-eyed monster will creep in an we will get jealous and envious of what others have or have accomplished. You will see another’s journey and look at yours and start to feel inadequate, or lost, or stagnant. You might feel like they’ve accomplished so much while you haven’t. Or you might feel like they have so much while you may not. We all know social media is a big proponent of this.

It’s time we stop comparing our lives to other people’s lives. Stop comparing our struggles to other people’s struggles. And stop comparing our journeys to other people’s journeys. Periodt.

“Comparison Is the Thief of Joy” -Theodore Roosevelt

Life is short. It is my goal to make sure my baddies are living their best lives by bringing in all the wonderful and happy things into their lives and not focusing on being jealous of others, comparing themselves with others and focusing on any other things that make our experience on earth painful, or malcontent. Focusing on unnecessary, low vibrational and, often times, false thoughts does not fall in line with living our best lives or being a bad bitch.

In this guide I have comprised some thoughts and sentiments to remember when you start to feel jealous, as well as a few tips to eliminate comparison all together. Keep reading below.

Think about this…You can think something but you do not know that it is true until you really know.

Have you ever created a whole story in your head or a scenario that you swore were facts, until you asked someone about what you thought to be true and it was the complete opposite?

Have you ever assumed something to be true but it turned out to be an overactive imagination and overthinking masked as false intuition?

Have you ever received part of a story and assumed you knew the whole story, and started making plans based on half information?

I definitely have. Prime example – Wondering why someone was not texting me back, spiraled into me being so sure that they were texting who I considered to be competition, which turned into me becoming jealous and almost flying off the handle from pure assumption and a jealousy induced rage, or anxiety.

I’ve learned that asking the questions can eliminate a lot of unnecessary drama.

You can not be too afraid of the answer to ask the question – Iyanla Vanzant

Remember that your thoughts are not always based in reality or true.

At the same time the grass may look greener but there is always more to the story. A person may have something you covet but who knows what they had to do to get it. Additionally, they may have one thing that looks great but are lacking in so many other ways. You never know the full truth of a situation.

Do not be afraid to ask questions.

This will eliminate comparison, drama, pointless jealousy and envy.

 

Whatever you are jealous of, remember that you can have it to.

Most of the time we feel jealousy or resentment because deep down we want what they have. Well, I’m here to tell you that we can absolutely have what they have.

If I’m jealous because I see someone with a “perfect” body, and I’m not doing all I can to become happy with my body…what am I really feeling these covetous feelings for? I am not doing all I can for me.

If I’m feeling jealous because I see my friend has an adventurous life, with lots of friends, and travels often, and I want that too, there is a fairly simple solution. I need to go out and create that for me too.

“If you want a 1% life you need to do 1% work – Gary V”

Create the life you want.

Gratitude

Ok, now it is true that some circumstances are out of our control. And maybe you’re not jealous but you are comparing your circumstance to others and are not happy. This is where gratitude comes in.

30 day gratitude journal (2)HAVE YOU GOTTEN YOUR COPY OF THE GRATITUDE JOURNAL? CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD NOW!

Gratitude is the most important tip in all of this. It is essentially the cheat code for happiness

“Gratitude is the healthiest of all human emotions. The more you express gratitude for what you have, the more likely you will have even more to express gratitude for.” —Zig Ziglar

 

We must be grateful for wheat we have, what we are going to receive, what others have been given, our protection, our blessings in general. There are so many things to be grateful for

I have said it before that we have a say in our happiness and in our lives in general. It is wasted energy to wallow in jealousy when we could be doing what we could to create our own wonderful, exciting, adventurous lives. If you want it, be happy that others have this fantastic thing and figure out how to create it in your own life too. But above all of that – be grateful for what you have been given today! Sometimes we get so caught up in our daily grind that we forget that we have been so immensely blessed. I want to encourage all of my baddies to take some time to practice gratitude.

signature

A BBA guide: Getting into FLOW STATE and How It Can Actively Help When Dealing With Anxiety and Depression

Like we’ve discussed in A BB guide to deal with disappointment and create more satisfaction in your life, feeling let down or experiencing discontent because circumstances may not meet your expectations is a natural occurrence.

Disappointment is a pretty regular fact of life. It happens all the time. In the previous post I gave you 8 ways we can change our reactions when things don’t go our way. One of my favorite methods, that I mentioned was flow state. But you may be asking what exactly is flow state.

What is Flow State?

Flow state is a conscious state of being fully present, focused in the now, and allowing happiness and contentment with no room for self-consciousness. Also, could be described as being in the zone and demonstrated as rolling with the punches, in scenarios where malcontent is concerned.

A famous saying from Lao Tzu states that “If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present.”

 

The method of Flow State advises us to focus on the now and focus on what is happening at this very moment.

Psychologist Mihály Csíkszentmihályi, who coined the term describes it as an “optimal state of consciousness where we feel our best and perform our best.” And “being completely involved in an activity for its own sake. The ego falls away. Time flies. Every action, movement, and thought follows inevitably from the previous one, like playing jazz. Your whole being is involved, and you’re using your skills to the utmost.”

 

Other states of being include relaxation, boredom, worry, anxiety, and arousal.

When you allow yourself to enter flow state you do not leave much room for emotions such as anger, jealousy, envy, stress, aggression, competition, worry, and disappointment; all of which are lower level ego-based emotions.

 

Alayna Kennedy, contributor for the Huffington post wrote in her article “Flow State: What It Is and How to Achieve It” that 10 factors that accompany flow state are:

1.Having clear goals about what you want to achieve
2. Concentration and focus
3. Participating in an intrinsically rewarding activity
4. Losing feelings of self-consciousness
5. Timelessness; losing track of time passing
6. Being able to immediately judge your own progress; instant feedback on your performance
7. Knowing that your skills align with the goals of the task
8. Feeling control over the situation and the outcome
9. Lack of awareness of physical needs
10. Complete focus on the activity itself

 

When you enter flow state you do not focus on the future or the past – just the task at hand, and the present moment. Flow state is a conscious state of being fully present, focused in the now, and allowing happiness and contentment with no room for self-consciousness.

 

Have you ever sat down to work on something and get so wrapped up in it, that you seem to lose all track of time? That is being in flow. If you think back to that time – do you remember feeling any anxiety? Do you remember wallowing or feeling low? Do you remember any second guessing? There was no room for any of that.

 

The next time you are feeling overwhelmed by life take some time to clear some space for yourself and get into flow state. Think about what is needed for you to get a state of flow. What contributed to you being in the zone?

signature

30 day gratitude journalHAVE YOU GOTTEN YOUR COPY OF THE GRATITUDE JOURNAL? CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD NOW!