Tag: anxiety

The Secrets to processing big emotions, fears and traumas – Self-Soothing Techniques  + our nervous systems #What’s next? (2)

Hey Baddies

More about our nervous system…

Bet you didn’t know that the nervous system affects more than just the nerves in our body. 

The Latin derivative for the word emotion, ‘emotere’, literally means energy in motion. It is the feeling sensation and physiological reaction that makes a specific emotion positive or negative.

When we have pent up or unresolved emotion (energy in motion) we can affect our physical body. This is part of the mind-body connection.

Our mental states has some influence over our physical states.

When we experience any of the following

  • Trauma
  • Infections
  • Degeneration
  • Structural defects
  • Tumors
  • Blood flow disruption
  • Autoimmune disorders

Our nervous systems may react and we can experience

  • Headaches
  • Anxiety
  • Memory loss
  • Depression
  • Lack of coordination
  • Muscle rigidity

“Don’t let people who don’t care about you, manipulate your mind, feelings and emotions or control how you think about yourself. Never give that much power to someone else.”

― Karon Waddell

This is why it is so important to try and get ahead of any unprocessed fears, traumas, or emotions and  work through them as best as we can. 

How do we work through? We work on mindfulness and self-soothing.

So, you’ve soothed yourself and calmed down…what’s next?

Now it’s time to reflect. Become aware and mindful of how you react during situations. Lets come up with a game plan for the next time a situation arises.

Here are a few reflective questions and journal prompts to ask yourself.

  • Consider what happened…what triggered you? 
  • How did you feel?
  • What emotions came up? 
  • What did you tell yourself about what happened? 
  • What is your belief system saying? 
  • What was your initial thought?
  • What were the consequences?
  • How do you think it made you look?
  • Can you see another side? 
  • Can you dispute your thoughts? 
  • Are you thinking rationally? 
  • Did you have all the information?
  • Did you ask all the questions you could?
  • What can you do differently the next time?

The next time you find yourself in a touch situation either emotionally or externally, you now have a few tools to help slowdown any impulsive or reckless actions due to being trigger and have learned how to lean into your body and ground yourself in mindfulness.

Remember to use the journal prompts as a tool to gain more insight into who you are and what trigger you. When you have the knowledge you have the control and power.

These steps are sure to help you change those lemons into sparkling lemonade. You got this.

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The secrets to processing big emotions, fears and traumas – Self-Soothing Techniques #All the feels. (1)

Hey Baddies! Imagine this: You just got in a horrible fight with your significant other and are raging…what do you do? You hear your co-workers whispering about you and feel disrespected…what’s your next move? You have experienced a major loss …how do you handle this? Life really has a way of throwing challenges our way…

30 ways to a better & brighter day + tips for releasing negative emotions and stress. Learn to self regulate today! (#calm down)

Hey Baddies, this next statement may surprise you… “The truth is that stress doesn’t come from your boss, your kids, your spouse, traffic jams, health challenges, or other circumstances. It comes from your thoughts about your circumstances.”―Andrew Bernstein Oof, that’s a tough quote. Essentially, its saying that we have more control over our lives and…

The secrets to processing big emotions, fears and traumas – Self-Soothing Techniques #All the feels. (1)

Hey Baddies!

Imagine this:

You just got in a horrible fight with your significant other and are raging…what do you do?

You hear your co-workers whispering about you and feel disrespected…what’s your next move?

You have experienced a major loss …how do you handle this?

Life really has a way of throwing challenges our way at the most inopportune times.  It seems like when it rains it always pours and it is often easier said than done to make lemons out of lemonade. 

When you go through a tough time or a difficult moment, do you lose control? Do become hasty and say or do things you regret later? Do you take a moment and think?

Sometimes the only thing you can do in the moment is pause and make sure to care for yourself so that you can handle the situation ahead of you.  

Our mental states have a major effect on our physical states.

In our physical body we have a nervous system. “The nervous system is a complex, sophisticated system that regulates and coordinates body activities”

Our nervous systems have a way of taking over and causing us to react in different ways. The nervous system is there to act as our protection and preservation mechanism. When we are stressed or experience trauma, we can begin to see the effects in our physical body through things like headaches, loss of feeling or tingling, weakness or loss of muscle strength, sometimes memory loss. 

How to do we help prevent this?

Let’s talk about mindfulness and self-soothing. 

Mindfulness is a mental state where we become aware the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one’s feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations, used as a therapeutic technique. We become in tune with our physical and mental states.

When we are aware we can then soothe and calm our nervous system. 

Mindfulness is a way of befriending ourselves and our experience.

-Jon Kabat-Zinn

A lot of times this includes breathwork, or conscious breathing, moments of silence, or stillness.

I have listed a few ways to practice self-soothing and calming techniques that will help allow feelings to flow through you and out instead of trapping it inside.

  • Express: This could mean writing it out, shaking it out, singing it out, exercise it out, talk it out. Get the energy out of your body any way you know how. Circulate it the energy. When you are going through a tough time, it helps to express those feelings. Respectfully.
  • Give Grace: Do not spiral into negative feelings or self-doubt. Inopportune situations happen all the time to everybody. Period. Allow yourself to feel. It is ok. You have been through tough things before. Honor your feelings. Do not fight them and move them along.
  • Give yourself time: If it takes you an hour to process or 2 months. That is ok, as long as you process. Many circumstances will come and challenge us in ways we may not understand or see coming. Its ok not to rush through.
  • Don’t be rash: Try not to make any serious decisions when you are processing trauma or in an emotional state. You may make a rash decision out of fear. Breathe. Most things do not have to be fixed right in this moment.
  • Cover yourself with love: Reach out to friends, family and loved ones. Some may not know you are going through something. Don’t be afraid to ask for support during tough times. You may be surprised how some will show up for you.
  • Remember that this issue or problem is temporary: Life will constantly throw curveballs. They all have passed and will continue to pass. It will get better.
  • Empower yourself: Remember that you are a power and strong force to be reckoned with. You have gone through tough things before. Affirm yourself. Build yourself up. Do not forget that you can handle situations and setbacks.

When we are flooded with intense emotion (energy in motion) we want to help it flow out. Keeping that energy pent up is the opposite of what we want to do for our health and wellbeing.

The next time a situation arises, consider some of these tips and let me know how they help.

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The Secrets to processing big emotions, fears and traumas – Self-Soothing Techniques  + our nervous systems #What’s next? (2)

Hey Baddies More about our nervous system… Bet you didn’t know that the nervous system affects more than just the nerves in our body.  The Latin derivative for the word emotion, ’emotere’, literally means energy in motion. It is the feeling sensation and physiological reaction that makes a specific emotion positive or negative. When we…

30 Actionable Ways to Achieve a Greater Connection with “self” TODAY + Practice Peace and Gain Confidence 

Hey Baddies, As we learn about self-regulating and self-soothing – we have discussed “feeling triggered.” But what exactly is feeling triggered and how can you learn more about your own triggers? “Feeling triggered isn’t just about something rubbing you the wrong way. For someone with a history of trauma, being around anything that reminds them…

How to Get The Most Out of a SELF CARE September + 20 Self-Date ideas

Hey Baddies,  Self-care is so essential but is often neglected. We often forget that taking care of our mind body and spirit are essential to a full, healthy, happy life. I, for one, have the habit of neglecting myself until my tank is essentially on empty.  “If you feel “burnout” setting in, if you feel…

How to improve your most important relationship… 30 Questions to get to more in-tune with yourself – Do Thy Know Thyself?

Hey Baddies,

Do Thy Know Thyself?

Think about how exciting it is to get to know someone new. You probably ask loads of questions, want to spend a lot of time with them, lean into the awkward stages and pay close attention to their answers and responses. Have you ever considered doing that for yourself? Do you feel like you invest as much time getting to know others as you do getting to know yourself? Can you answer questions like…”what do you want out of life?” or “what lights you up inside?”

In case you didn’t realize, your relationship with yourself is the most important relationship you have.

“He who knows others is wise; he who knows himself is enlightened.”

― Lao Tzu

s incredibly important. You are essentially with yourself and your thoughts 24-7.

Consider this…You are definitely not the same person you were a year ago or even 10 years ago. Your ideas may have changed, new experiences may have shaped you, and circumstances may have created new perspectives for you.

As we continue this journey of self-discovery and connecting with self, lets start asking ourselves question as a way to get to know our selves and re-connect with who we are in this space and time, with the understanding that we are beautifully evolving creatures. 

Write out your answers in a journal or a sacred space… and spend time listening, learning, and discovering. You’re worth it.

Connect with self- JOURNAL PROMPTS:

  • What do you like about yourself?
  • What are you grateful for?
  • What do your friendships mean to you?
  • What is a trigger for you?
  • When did you last cry – why?
  • Tell 3 great things about yourself?
  • How do you feel about your friendships and relationships?
  • How do you feel about love?
  • Do you believe in soulmates?
  • How do you feel about your life -meaning; purpose; where you’re at?
  • How do you feel about death?
  • How do you feel about your childhood?
  • Is there anything or anyone you want o to forgive and move past?
  • What in your childhood shaped the person you are today?
  • Describe a great day?
  • If you could have any ability- what would it be and why?
  • Who need s more love in your life?
  • What is your deepest secret?
  • What makes you angry
  • What is your deepest fear?
  • What is your greatest desire?
  • What makes you laugh; What brings you joy?
  • What makes you scared?
  • What makes you cry?
  • What do you want to accomplish?
  • What great things happened in your childhood?
  • 3 qualities you admire in someone close to you – why?
  • What is your greatest accomplishment?
  • What is your treasured memory?
  • What does your dream life look like?
  • What does happiness look like?
  • What limiting beliefs do you want to work on?
  • What are your lifetime goals?
  • If you couldn’t fail – what would you do?

 “Look around you. Everything changes. everything on this earth is in a continuous state of evolving, refining, improving, adapting, enhancing, and changing. You were not put on this earth to remain stagnant.”

-Dr. Steve Mataboli

Remember that we are beautifully evolving creatures. We weren’t made to remain the same. As you ask your the questions in your sacred space, try to pay close attention to your answers and the truth behind them. You may discover something truly amazing along the way.

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Meditation | Mental Health Awareness | 4 M’s of May

Meditation is another powerful way to bring mental clarity and ground yourself. I believe everyone can benefit from meditation. Verywellmind.com defines meditation as… a set of techniques that are intended to encourage a heightened state of awareness and focused attention. Meditation is also a consciousness-changing technique that has been shown to have a wide number…

30 Actionable Ways to Achieve a Greater Connection with “self” TODAY + Practice Peace and Gain Confidence 

Hey Baddies,

As we learn about self-regulating and self-soothing – we have discussed “feeling triggered.” But what exactly is feeling triggered and how can you learn more about your own triggers?

“Feeling triggered isn’t just about something rubbing you the wrong way. For someone with a history of trauma, being around anything that reminds them of a traumatic experience (also known as a “trigger”) can make them feel like they’re experiencing the trauma all over again.”

“Click here to read more : from http://www.verywellmind.com

Feeling triggered is a physical, and emotional response to a situation that is more than just feeling uncomfortable.

Think PTSD.

And it can happen for a range of reasons that you, as the individual, may or may not be aware of.

As we practice more mindfulness, some of our triggers will come to the surface. We may realize that as we dig deeper into who we are as individuals, we may be faced with some discomfort but it is important to connect with who you are so you can be more aware of you as we continue this journey. 

Remember that we have a goal of calming our nervous system when we are triggered and find ourselves having knee jerk reactions. This takes practice. 

So lets create the important habit and get into the routine of slowing down the knee jerk reactions and replace it with things that bring in more peace and calm states into our lives. 

Below there are 30 ways to start doing just that.

I have created a list to help you start connecting and discovering self. 

Consider write out your answers in a journal or a sacred space… and spend time listening, learning, and discovering. 

  1. The first step is always to breathe and regulate your physical nervous system…so breathe in…..and breathe out….
  2. Take a spiritual bath. Take care of your vessel/temple.
  3. Clean your space and fix your environment to bring you great energy.
  4. Call friends. Surround yourself with people + good energy
  5. Go sit in the sun. The sun has healing properties.
  6. Get “lost.” Go on an adventure.
  7. Watch a different type of movie. Try something different.
  8. Read a book or earn something new
  9. Spend time with an elder
  10. Exercise. Move your body
  11. Journal
  12. Meditate
  13. Make a bucket list and actually start crossing some things off.
  14. Sit in silence
  15. Practice something and work towards a goal
  16. Actually finish that thing you have been working on
  17. Write out a gratitude list
  18. Dance – turn the music up loud
  19. Sing
  20. Write a story, write poetry, do some research
  21. Play a sport – or learn one
  22. Visit a museum
  23. Create something
  24. Look at your accomplishments
  25. Take a risk. Push through your fears (you may surprise yourself)
  26. Sit in awe and enjoy the things/people you have in your life.
  27. Forgive others
  28. Drink water
  29. Treat yourself.  
  30. Pay attention to your emotions.

“Sometimes, you just need a break. In a beautiful place. Alone. To figure everything out.” 

These are just a few suggestions to help you connect with yourself.  Write down anything that you learned about yourself or how you have grown while doing these things. Think about how doing more of these tasks with yourself can help when you are in a stressful situation. Remember that we have a goal of calming our nervous system when we are triggered, and I know you can do it!

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Mantras | Mental Health Awareness | 4 M’s of May

Mantras are powerful words, chants, or sayings that are repeated and are often used in conjunction with meditation or manifestation and help influence actions and thought. Repeating a mantra to yourself is a great way to get centered and infuse day life with a peace, perspective, and positivity. They also serve as tools for great…

Manifesting | Mental Health Awareness | 4 M’s of May

When I first started my mindfulness journey, I soon began to be able to pinpoint my thoughts that led to other thoughts, that led to my actions, that let to me creating my own unhappiness or my own drama. I discovered my power and how my thoughts can turn into real things.  This is manifesting.…

Mindfulness | Mental Health Awareness | 4 M’s of May

Jumping in with both feet –Let’s start with Mindfulness. Mindfulness is so delicious. It is the root for the rest of the M ‘s in this series. Mindfulness is to be aware, attentive, thoughtful, alert, to be in your senses and/or conscious. Sit with that for a minute… Mindfulness has intentionality behind it. Mindfulness has…

How to Get The Most Out of a SELF CARE September + 20 Self-Date ideas

Hey Baddies, 

Self-care is so essential but is often neglected. We often forget that taking care of our mind body and spirit are essential to a full, healthy, happy life. I, for one, have the habit of neglecting myself until my tank is essentially on empty. 

“If you feel “burnout” setting in, if you feel demoralized and exhausted, it is best, for the sake of everyone, to withdraw and restore yourself.”

Dalai Lama

This is not good and it takes much more effort to recover from zero percent than at 30 percent. It is so important to take more breaks for ourselves. 

The key to a great Self-Care September, as well as a life full of self-care, is to schedule your “me-time.”

Put your “me-time” time on your calendar just like you would any other important event. It matters and your self-care matters too. 

Ideas for “Me-Time” – Self Date and Self Care

Self-care can look like a lot of things depending on what is needed.

For instance, if you are running on 2 hours of sleep, self-care for that situation should probably be stillness and rest.  But if you are feeling low or depressed, self-care may be an energizing and creative outing.

Organize and adjust your self-care to fit your unique need at the time.

I love this quote from Brene Brown: “Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love.”

The same sentiment should go for the time you spend with yourself:

Treat yourself as you would someone you love.  Spoil yourself the way you would spoil someone you love. Love on yourself the way you would someone you love. Date yourself the way you would date someone you love.

I want to encourage you to make it a part of your routine to spend some time pouring into yourself regularly and routinely. Take yourself on a date and enjoy yourself.

Below I have some tips and ideas below for your self-care dates that you can incorporate into your life.

Buy yourself flowers

Spend the night out of town- staycation

Take a trip to beach

Do karaoke

Try visiting an aquarium

Rent a fancy car

Try a mixology class

Take a spa day

Go to a gun range

Buy a new plant

Rent a movie

Paint and sip

Wear your pjs all day

Go bar hopping

Explore a jazz club

Set up a bonfire

Bake something new

Take yourself to a comedy show

Visit a botanical garden

Make ice-cream from scratch

“It is so important to take time for yourself and find clarity. The most important relationship is the one you have with yourself.” Diane Von Furstenberg

Need some more inspiration?

Try and make it a game. Put all the ideas in a jar and pick a random one out weekly. Create a bucket list and try to mark them all odd. Add some mindfulness and journal how you felt before and after.

These are just a few ideas that can help boost your self-care journey and help you stay in a positive state. Remember to schedule in your “me-time” on your calendar and modify for what you need. Become attuned to your needs and what fills you up and watch your life flourish.

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30 Affirmations to help super charge your new year |30 DAYS TO GREATNESS

30 Affirmations to inspire you and super charge your new year! The power of affirming yourself is unmatched when it comes to changing the way you think about yourself and what you can do! You should be your biggest cheerleader! Try building yourself up consistently with affirmations for 30 days and see the changes in…

30 Self-Care + Self-Tuning Meditations | 30 DAYS TO GREATNESS

“The more regularly and the more deeply you meditate, the sooner you will find yourself acting always from a center of peace.”– J. Donald Walters We are starting off with a bang! Meditation! This may be one of my favorite things to encourage people to do because the effects are so powerful. Meditation allows you…

Mindfulness | Mental Health Awareness | 4 M’s of May

Jumping in with both feet –Let’s start with Mindfulness. Mindfulness is so delicious. It is the root for the rest of the M ‘s in this series.

Mindfulness is to be aware, attentive, thoughtful, alert, to be in your senses and/or conscious.

Sit with that for a minute…

Mindfulness has intentionality behind it. Mindfulness has a willful determination. Mindfulness is a connection to your innerworkings and thoughts.

How many times have you been driving, getting home and can’t distinctly remember the ride home? Autopilot mode?

Or have reacted negatively to the situation and thought about it later wondering why you were triggered in that way?

Becoming more mindful of your innermost thoughts will help you reconnect when you get into autopilot mode and will clarify why you may get triggered.

When you become aware and mindful of yourself, your world expands. 

This is the starting point for most journeys. Becoming more aware.

When I first started studying and practicing mindfulness techniques, I remember feeling like I grew to understand myself on a deeper level. I started to feel lighter because I had understanding, clarity. I started to feel like… ME. 

My inner environment…

…my thoughts and habits, all became clearer, and not the muddled mess they had been. I was aware of my actions, my triggers, my habit, and reactions.

As I studied my habits, reactions, the path of my thoughts, I began to be able to pinpoint the thoughts that led to other thoughts, that led to my actions, that let to me, essentially, creating unhappiness in my life.

I discovered my power.

I discovered that my thoughts could turn into real things (manifesting). I discovered that by becoming more intentional with my thoughts, actions, habits, I can create more joy and more life. 

As I’ve studied, I’ve had a few epiphanies and wished someone had pointed me in this direction sooner.

I’m here to help you develop your mindfulness and awareness. 

Let’s start with this easy tip. 

Make note

• Start paying attention. When a situation happens that you do not like, start to make note of what caused you to be triggered. Start to pay attention to where your thoughts automatically went. Slow down the momentum. It may take a few times, but you can do it. Its like a moving vehicle – you have to slow down before you can stop completely. It’s the same with your thoughts while you re-train your brain.

• Don’t react, slow down and think. Don’t pop off, get curious about the situation and your reaction to it. 

• Ask Why – not why me, but why am I going down this path.

Also Try this:

Connect with yourself and connect with nature 

Nature has a stillness and a power that is unmatched. Take some time to quiet your mind, get into nature and practice being more mindful, aware, of your thoughts and habits. This will definitely help some energy move through you.

• Sit in the sun

• Try some deep breathing techniques

• Drink water

• Ground yourself. Try earthing or sitting barefoot

• Eat bright citrus fruit to stimulate the senses

The concept of being mindful has such a great impact on our mental health. It encompasses so much when it comes to positive inner environments and mental health. When you start to look at your triggers and your thought patterns and really question why things went the way they did, you will discover your superpower of mindfulness and your world will open too.

Meditation| Blossom & Bloom [9]: It may not be what you think.

Baddies – let’s talk a little about meditation. As we continue on the journey to blossom and bloom, I would be remiss if I never mentioned this powerful mindfulness tool. I am a firm and adamant believer in meditating. I believe there is at least one aspect of meditating that can help everyone. Whether it is the transcendent aspects, or the slowing down of your thoughts, or deep breathing, or even just relaxing, There is something that can benefit literally everyone physically and or mentally.

When I first heard about meditation, I thought that it sounded good but wasn’t for me and it probably wouldn’t work anyway. Then I  found myself with such deep anxieties and looking  or a way to quiet the constant thoughts running through my mind. So I started practicing breathing exercises and working on quieting my mind. Turns out that ids a form of meditation and it absolutely worked for me. I stated to feel a big difference when I went too long without those still and quiet moments. Those quiet moments became some of my most beautiful moments.

What is Meditation?

Mediation is essentially a practice to train your attention and awareness to reach mental and emotional clarity and/or calmness. I feel like we can all use some peace and calm in our lives.

What kind of meditations are there?

 There are so many different types of meditation practices out there.

Guided meditations, mantra meditations, yoga meditations, chakra mediation, sound-bath meditations, body scans, visualizations, and more. Find one that suits your needs and works for you. The chances of you sticking with something increases if you actually enjoy it.

Why should you try it?

Meditation creates stronger mental faculties, helps with anxiety, promotes emotional health, reduces memory loss, helps with sleep, helps fight depression, reduces stress, opens awareness, can increase happiness and gratitude just to name a few things.  Meditation can increase your quality of life overall.

Give yourself 5 minutes.

I suggest starting with 5 minutes and gradually work your way up. When I first started 5 minutes felt like a lifetime, but I can easily meditate for hours today. Keep in mind – it is not really about the length of time but the quality of the time you spend in your practice.  I first started by breathing and quieting the mind, but I found that my thoughts were too active. Guided meditations helped me focus my thoughts on one thing. I then explored other forms of meditation and truly love them all. I go to whichever one will feed me for that day.

Here are a few tips to get the best of your meditation practice:

  1. Remember it’s called a practice for a reason.
  2. Release your expectations and do not be hard on yourself if it seems difficult at first
  3. Your meditation practice can vary from day to day. One day you may be able to sit in stillness, and the next your thoughts may be running rampant. That is ok. Try again tomorrow.
  4. If you fall asleep. That is ok. You succeeded in quieting your mind.
  5. Do what feels right for you.

Here are a few of my favorite guided meditations to help get you started.

  1. Mary Kate: Gratitude Meditation
  2. Creating an inner environment for success.
  3. Quick Chakra Tune up
  4. I am Affirmations- Power thoughts
  5. The Honest Guys: Ease Anxiety & Worry

We have just dipped a toe into the deep, deep pool of meditation. This is such a vast topic with so many benefits. Finding what works for you is very personal and important to your journey. Get excited and start exploring!

Staying Present | Blossom & Bloom [7]: Everything is NOW

“If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present.” -Lao Tzu

Staying in the present moment is easier said than done, right? There are so many distractions. Circumstances and responsibilities like, work demands, family, kids, television, social media, music, friends, etc. all demand a certain amount of attention from us. It makes it difficult to stay in the present moment. Mindfulness is like a muscle; it must be worked out to get stronger.

One way to combat anxiety, depression, limiting beliefs is to stay present and be an observer of your thoughts and remain in the present moment. This will also benefit you greatly, not only by making you happier, with building resilience, dealing with difficult situations, reducing stress, and having control over our emotions and reactions.

“The present moment is the only thing where there is no time. It is the point between past and future. It is always there and it is the only point we can access in time. Everything that happens, happens in the present moment. Everything that ever happened and will ever happen can only happen in the present moment. It is impossible for anything to exist outside of it.” – Myrko Thum

Practice with this!

Let’s practice staying in the present moment with mindful eating. This is a great way to build up the mindfulness muscle.

  • The next time you eat- eliminate all distractions. Turn off the TV. Put your phone away.
  • Sit and engage all of your senses. Sight, smell, taste, touch and sound.  Focus on the experience you are having in that moment.
  • Check in with yourself. How are you feeling?
  • Your mind may wander, but bring it back to where you are and what you are doing at this very moment.
  • Rinse and Repeat.

Try practicing staying in the present moment throughout your day. Check in with yourself, especially when you feel like you are going through the motions. It will get easier and easier and you’ll see your world expand.