A BBA guide: Getting into FLOW STATE and How It Can Actively Help When Dealing With Anxiety and Depression

Like we’ve discussed in A BB guide to deal with disappointment and create more satisfaction in your life, feeling let down or experiencing discontent because circumstances may not meet your expectations is a natural occurrence.

Disappointment is a pretty regular fact of life. It happens all the time. In the previous post I gave you 8 ways we can change our reactions when things don’t go our way. One of my favorite methods, that I mentioned was flow state. But you may be asking what exactly is flow state.

What is Flow State?

Flow state is a conscious state of being fully present, focused in the now, and allowing happiness and contentment with no room for self-consciousness. Also, could be described as being in the zone and demonstrated as rolling with the punches, in scenarios where malcontent is concerned.

A famous saying from Lao Tzu states that “If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present.”


The method of Flow State advises us to focus on the now and focus on what is happening at this very moment.

Psychologist Mihály Csíkszentmihályi, who coined the term describes it as an “optimal state of consciousness where we feel our best and perform our best.” And “being completely involved in an activity for its own sake. The ego falls away. Time flies. Every action, movement, and thought follows inevitably from the previous one, like playing jazz. Your whole being is involved, and you’re using your skills to the utmost.


Other states of being include relaxation, boredom, worry, anxiety, and arousal.

When you allow yourself to enter flow state you do not leave much room for emotions such as anger, jealousy, envy, stress, aggression, competition, worry, and disappointment; all of which are lower level ego-based emotions.


Alayna Kennedy, contributor for the Huffington post wrote in her article “Flow State: What It Is and How to Achieve It” that 10 factors that accompany flow state are:

1.Having clear goals about what you want to achieve
2. Concentration and focus
3. Participating in an intrinsically rewarding activity
4. Losing feelings of self-consciousness
5. Timelessness; losing track of time passing
6. Being able to immediately judge your own progress; instant feedback on your performance
7. Knowing that your skills align with the goals of the task
8. Feeling control over the situation and the outcome
9. Lack of awareness of physical needs
10. Complete focus on the activity itself


When you enter flow state you do not focus on the future or the past – just the task at hand, and the present moment. Flow state is a conscious state of being fully present, focused in the now, and allowing happiness and contentment with no room for self-consciousness.


Have you ever sat down to work on something and get so wrapped up in it, that you seem to lose all track of time? That is being in flow. If you think back to that time – do you remember feeling any anxiety? Do you remember wallowing or feeling low? Do you remember any second guessing? There was no room for any of that.


The next time you are feeling overwhelmed by life take some time to clear some space for yourself and get into flow state. Think about what is needed for you to get a state of flow. What contributed to you being in the zone?






A Bad Bitch’s Guide: Create more JOY & HAPPINESS in your life with the POSITIVITY SWITCH! 5 tips to catch your negative thoughts & become a Positive Beacon of Light.

My favorite tips to stopping the negative thoughts and switching instantly to positivity. Make it a habit. Your friends will wonder what’s changed in you.

“If you believe that the world is conspiring against you, it will just do that.”
― Bangambiki Habyarimana

A very powerful quote and so true in so many ways. Thepifesting that negativity into your life. If you dwell in fear and go around looking for the bad things, they will inevitably reveal themselves to you.

This is why a positivity switch is so essential to living your best life and having the most awesome [YEAR OF YOU]!

Switching off the negative thoughts, that do not serve you, and turning on your positive, optimistic thoughts will create a much better existence. Life is short. Why wouldn’t we make our time as enjoyable as possible? Continue below to learn my favorite tips executing the POSITIVITY SWITCH.

Become aware of the habit and force yourself stop.

Practice Mindfulness

Start paying close attention to your triggers and catch yourself when you start thinking negatively. It may be something like your environment that sets you off, or something someone has said. Whatever it is – identify it.

  • Step into a new physical environment, remove yourself to protect yourself.
  • Use a rubber band around your wrist to stop the habit
  • Vocally Speak to yourself – “self…stop”
  • When I realize I am being jealous I need to stop immediately
  • Take some time to think, is what I am feeling really true
  • Turn the negative thought into an affirming one. Instead of focusing on what you don’t like, focus on what you do.

Figure out where the negativity is coming from.

Fear, jealousy, anger, envy, aggression, competition hatred, guilt, anger, hostility

  • Once again – Identify it. When we know what something is, and we can name it, it is so much easier to conquer it.
  • These are low vibration emotions that are sure to create a lot of negativity and suffering. We will discuss more about these emotions to come
  • “A positive Mindset attracts Success like a magnet and a negative one loves to marry failure, procrastination and comfortable environment that sobs in mediocrity and impossibility.”― Oscar Bimpong

Practice intentionality and choose to focus on the positive daily.

Before you get into the negative spaces, or walk into the triggers, start your day with some intentions. Figure out what you want and create an intention daily. Start your day by saying what you want and walk in your power. This will begin to switch your knee jerk reaction from the negative to the positive and create the habit.

  • Intention Example: Today I want to will be more loving and less jealous.
  • Affirmation Example: I am open minded and considerate. I am genuinely happy for others, and know that other peoples success does not negate mine
  • Practice and repeat the intention and affirmations throughout the day.
  • “Your thoughts carry you wherever you want to go. Weak thoughts don’t have the energy to carry you far!” ― Israelmore Ayivor

Remember that you can’t always believe what you think.

“Remember, what you “feel” and what is “real” are often very different.” ― Eddie Capparucci, LPC

Be aware of your inner dialogue. Sometimes you convince yourself of things that are not facts. We can get so wrapped up in one side of a story, or what we made up in our heads, that we fail to paint the full picture, which could save us a lot of pain. Things may not always be how we imagine them in our minds.

  • Remember that you can’t always believe what you think and tell yourself. Your negative voices are not always true
  • Never assume anything. Communicate clearly to avoid misunderstandings.
  • Don’t be afraid to ask the questions, or clarify.
    • Examples: what I hear you saying is…
    • I feel like you are saying this…is this true?
    • You’re doing this which makes me feel like that. Is this accurate?

Go to Gratitude

Gratitude can calm the greatest trouble minds. Being grateful can put a lot of things into perspective.

  • Be grateful for what you have
  • How far you’ve come
  • Where you’re going
  • Any times that you have been granted grace.
  • Looking at the big picture and become aware of what you want to do want out of can help you overcome the negative thoughts. We don’t have time for this – were on a bigger path.
  • We suffer when we want life other than what it is. If we put things into perspective with gratefulness, we can eliminate so much suffering.

“Your mind can destroy your life! Mind your mind; think well! Detoxify your thought and be free!”
Ernest Agyemang Yeboah



When the time comes when you feel yourself slipping, use some of the one of the above methods to stop and switch to a positive mind frame. Remember that your worth and the path that you are on. These negative thoughts do not serve you. As we continue in the Year of Y.O.U (Your truth, optimism, and understanding) becoming more positive will start to lay the very important groundwork to living your best life.

Go back and catch what you missed. Previous post : Slay with ease and become successful with this Consistency Calendar)


A Bad Bitch’s Guide to Slaying Your Goals with a Consistency Calendar and Action Planner + Get yours free!


One special tool I’ve found that has helped me with goal setting, staying focused and following through is a calendar and action planner.


Like a vision board, I keep a consistency calendar in plain sight and take it with me daily to keep me on track. This is a major tool that helps keep many people on task and successful.


The action planner works in conjunction with the calendar to help you get a good and clear grasp on what it is you want to accomplish. The planner will help you pick your goal, which might seem too big to accomplish, and break it down int actionable and attainable steps. Additionally, the action planner clears out the clutter by helping you go through an analysis of your goal, giving you space to foresee any possible problems that may arise, and will get you really clear about your reason for going after this goal. Knowing these things head of time are key to keeping you consistent when it gets really tough to continue or you lose motivation.

– Be the one to actualize your dreams and slay! Click [here] for tips for your own ACTION PLAN-


How it works:

  • First set aside some time to actually work on what you want to accomplish. Dream, visualize, ponder, and think of what you would like to do.

If you don’t know where you’re going, you’re not going to go anywhere, and more importantly, how are you going to know when you get there?

  • Pick a goal that is specific, a challenge, and will propel you to action. It is also very important to pick a firm deadline. “someday” is not a good deadline.

“Move out of your comfort zone. You can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new.” –Brian Tracy


  • Create your action plan by reverse engineering or working backwards on the things you need to do to reach your goal.

  • Break down your goals into bite sized chunks and segments. I like to plan week by week, especially if the goal is an overwhelming one.


  • If your goal requires less structure try and do the part you dread the most, first – get it over with. And keep it at the forefront of your brain by keeping it visible. Not letting yourself forget about your goals, and being consistent will increase your chances of accomplishing them exponentially.

-I have cataloged 5 tips to slaying your goals and staying on top of them, even with a busy schedule, low motivation or a loss of interest. These tips are sure to get you started on your path, despite any excuse, to becoming a Goal Slayer- Click [here] to read more.


  • Reward Yourself!!- Give yourself mini milestones and rewards for marking off tasks and reaching milestones. This reward system will help keep your momentum going. Accountability checkpoints are also great to make sure you’re staying on top of it.


  • Do not forget to catch yourself when negative thoughts try to creep in and do a positivity switch. Be realistic in your goals and what you can consistently do. Take necessary breaks to help prevent burnout. Starting small and grow with a growth momentum mindset is always a great idea and allows you to see success early on.

“By recording your dreams and goals on paper, you set in motion the process of becoming the person you most want to be. Put your future in good hands—your own.” —Mark Victor Hansen


We can’t just talk about what we want, dream about what we want, think about what we want and expect it to happen with just thoughts and hopes alone.  We have to take BIG ACTION toward our goals. You may be going hard, but can you go harder? You may be pushing yourself, but can you go further? I believe that anyone can have whatever they want in life, if they work toward it consistently

– Be the one to actualize your dreams and slay! Click [here] for tips for your own ACTION PLAN-

I want to offer you all this simple tool to help you smoothly get to point a from point b like a pro so you can start slaying those goals today!

Click the {HERE} to download your consistency calendar + action planner

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The Top 5 Reasons Why You Aren’t Reaching Your Goals. Learn to Create a Stellar ACTION PLAN and Be the One to Actualize Your Dreams Today!

Have you been having a hard time getting the things you want out of life? Do you feel stuck and have no clue how to get from point a to point b?

Ask yourself this…

What plan have you crafted to take you to where you want to be? What have you been doing that is above and beyond to pull yourself from where you are?


It can feel like an uphill battle sometimes. Trying to change your life, follow your ambitions, or even do something that will take you out of your comfort zone can be a daunting experience. A primary thing that helps when the going gets tough is a clear ACTION PLAN.


Our goals can only be reached through a vehicle of a plan, in which we must fervently believe, and upon which we must vigorously act. There is no other route to success.” —Pablo Picasso


We can’t just talk about what we want, dream about what we want, think about what we want and expect it to happen with just thoughts and hopes alone. The Law of Attraction is powerful but doesn’t exactly work like that. We have to put some sort of energy out in the world to draw our desires to us. We need to do some work and create some sort of plan. And the bigger the dream the harder we have to work for it.

If you have ordinary dreams you need only do ordinary things. If you have extraordinary dreams you need to do extraordinary things.


First things first, we need to discuss what not to do.

These are the top 5 reasons why you are not reaching your goals. These are the things you will absolutely need to ditch in the New Year to be successful. These thought patterns will not help you reach your goals. Let’s get rid of these make space for the things that will bring us closer to what we want.



Get rid of entitlement and expecting things to drop in your lap.


Reduce your failure to be intentional. Learn how to have laser focus on the things you want


Get rid of the lack of gratitude for what you already have. It only brings bad juju.


Do not forget to have some humility and realize nothing is promised


Cut yourself some slack and give yourself some grace for what you’ve done so far


Become an expert at accomplishing your goals! Click [HERE] to read about goal slaying and the importance of follow-through!


What to do to be a Goal Slayer!

Your steps to creating a stellar ACTION PLAN that works.

Below I have listed what you should do to align yourself to your goals and 5 tips to create the 5 star action plan you need to get you from where you are to where you want to be.


1 The Most important thing to your action plan is to “reverse engineer” or work to backwards:

You may not even know the first thing that is need to accomplish this goal. You may have no clue where to start.

***Here is the key –start with the big picture and work backwards***

Figure out what the last thing is that needs to be done and then figure out what needs to be done before that, and before that, and before that – all the way up to what you can do today. This will essentially create your road map to success.


2 Chunk it down

When you have big goals they can be very scary and intimidating. Your reverse engineered road map may have a 10 year timeline – and that is ok. Do not get overwhelmed. Instead just break it down even more into manageable chunks. Smaller bits. Tiny bites.

Think of it like this. This is something that may be completely foreign to you. Allow yourself some leniency as you figure it out and go forward.  Do what you can today and keep going.


3 Expect to fail but fail forward.

Give yourself time and don’t expect perfection now. Again, give yourself some leniency. Be kind to yourself if you struggle. As long as you are learning, you are growing and gaining invaluable experience.


The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough. They’re there to stop the other people.”
Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture


4 Try to do the hardest part first.

Defeat procrastination by having the plan to do the hard, actionable things first.

Having that sense of accomplishment by getting over the biggest hill first will give you so much momentum for accomplishing the smaller things. You feel like “of course I can do that, I did all of this before I got here”


5 Keep it at the forefront of your brain.

Remind yourself – don’t fall off. Stay focused.

Keep a visual or a journal around.

Have a partner check on you.

Don’t let yourself forget and don’t let yourself get discouraged.

– I have cataloged 5 tips to slaying your goals and staying on top of them, even with a busy schedule, low motivation or a loss of interest. Click [HERE] for the tips that are sure to get you started on your path, despite any excuse, to becoming a Goal Slayer


Now that we’ve gone through all of the things we need all there is left is to actually do it.

Get yourself a cute binder, or a poster and sit down and create your plan. That’s right. Mark some time off in your calendar to focus on this.

We can talk all day long about all the things we want in this life but it will do us no good if we are not actively bringing those things forth. We can manifest and use visualizations for a lifetime but still not see results. We can wish and dream but what is the point if we are not working towards those things.

When you think about people like Beyoncé, Michelle Obama, Mohammed Ali, or even Kevin Hart (insert your particular hero), do you think you have put in the same type of effort that they have to change your life?

You may be going hard, but can you go harder? You may be pushing yourself, but can you go further?

step-it-up-a-notch--Bad bitch affirmations

Create your plan and stick with it. I know you can do it.

 Stretch yourself and flourish and be great.



-Come back to learn about the consistency calendar, next week ; )




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Goal slaying! – 5 Tips to stay consistent with your goals and How to conquer them

This year we are doing things differently – we are setting some first-rate goals and we are actually going to following through on them and I am going to help you.

-click [here] to learn how to cultivate your effective personal vision and create a stellar vision board to match-

How many times have you started something and haven’t finished it? How many times have you been excited about a new project and weeks later that project was distant memory?  I know I have so many unfinished projects that have become coasters and dust collectors. It’s sad but is an all too real fact of life. Sometimes we get too busy or distracted but if we want to make any real progress something has got to change. Whether it’s because of the inevitable distractions of life, losing enthusiasm or motivation, or any other reason, this year we are eliminating excuses and finishing what we started!

“Whatever it takes to finish things, finish. You will learn more from a glorious failure than you ever will from something you never finished.” ― Neil Gaiman

Below I have cataloged 5 tips to slaying your goals and staying on top of them, even with a busy schedule, low motivation or a loss of interest. These tips are sure to get you started on your path, despite any excuse, to becoming a Goal Slayer.


  1. Keep Goal-minded people around you

It is a fact that you become like the 5 people you spend the most time with. Have you assessed the people you keep around? Do they support your vision and goals? Do they resemble the person you want grow into?


  1. Push yourself harder

Chances are your aren’t going as hard for your goals as you think. Ask yourself “what if?”

What if you went harder for your goals? What if you went out of a ledge for what you believed in? What if you fail…but then what if you succeed? Remember that you have so much power within you, just waiting to be tapped into.

step-it-up-a-notch--Bad bitch affirmations


  1. Forget waiting for motivation

The feeling of being motivated is just that, a feeling, a mood. Feelings come and go and can change in an instant. The real path to finishing a task is to do it even when you don’t feel motivated.

Accomplishing your goals doesn’t work if you act solely when that feeling of being inspired or motivated hits.  Being a goal slayer is about looking at the big picture, looking at the things you want to accomplish, and grinding no matter what. We don’t always have the luxury of acting only when we feel motivated. We can always do more, right here, right now.


  1. Create a habit.

An integral part of reaching the finish line is to create the habit. Create consistency. These easy ideas can help create the regularity and help keep you accountable.

Get an exceptional accountability partner

Set an alarm or a daily reminder

Keep a journal of the things you did daily to get you closer

Create consequences if you don’t reach a milestone


  1. Most important point – The action plan

Ok guys, this is essential. We can’t just talk about what we want, dream about what we want, think about what we want and expect it to happen with just thoughts alone. The Law of Attraction is powerful but doesn’t exactly work like that. We have to put some sort of energy out in the world to draw our desires to us. We need to do some work and create some sort of plan. That will increase your ability to slay that goal exponentially. We will continue to speak on creating an inspiring action plan to solidify your position as a Goal Slayer to come.


With these 5 tips I am confident that you will be well on your way to changing the bad habits and creating strong follow through for the new year, new Y.O.U.! Your Truth, Optimism, and Understanding.

Click [here] to learn about the Year of Y.O.U. If you want to learn how to really cut through the clutter and create a streamlined action plan that works stay tuned. And be sure to sign up for BADDIES Elite to be notified when this great information is posted.







Vision Board – Cultivating your personal vision for your 2019

One major key  *insert khalid voice* to manifesting your desires and creating the life you want in 2019 lies in a powerful tool that many successful people have used and continue to use today. This tool has some great potential to transform your year and upgrade your life, with careful consideration and a little effort. Continue reading below to learn all about the illustrious vision board, how you can create your own, and how your board can get you on the path to start your new year on the up-swing.


Ok, so what is a vision board?

A vision board, also known as a dream board, treasure map, or vision map, is a tool used to help you focus on your visions, your dreams and your goals. It can be on a board, a series of post-its, or even a piece of notebook paper. It doesn’t really matter, as long as it is has your ideas on it.

Using visualization, the law of attraction, and intentions, a vision board will keep your goals in the forefront of you mind, act as a catalyst to catapult towards your desires, and can act as a road-map to take you to where you want to go.

“If you want to be happy, set a goal that commands your thoughts, liberates your energy and inspires your hopes.” —Andrew Carnegie

Examples of some beautiful mood boards

Also, see Amber Scholl’s – mood board video on Youtube. This is a prime example of how vision boards can work for you. Click Here


How to create your own vision board.

Take some time to gather your ideas, dreams, and desires.

Ask yourself what do you want out of life? Think about a range of categories such as: love, fitness, growth, career, money, family, health, travel, adventures, and your ambitions.

“Without leaps of imagination or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities. Dreaming, after all is a form of planning.”
Gloria Steinem


Focus and be specific.

When writing the things you want be specific about what it is. Do not just put “I want to lose weight.” It is more beneficial if you put something like “I want to lose 10lbs in by June.” This will allow you to set a time line and create a goal you can actually act on.

Fearless ambition is key. Be BOLD. Think big as well as small.

Do not limit yourself to things that you think you definitely can achieve. The world is your oyster. Reach out and grab it what you want. Dream a little. Write out things that may be a challenge, that you have no idea of how you can achieve, and may be so big you don’t know where to start. These bold declarations are the things that will really allow yourself to see the power in yourself and your determination.

Build your board.

Gather your ideas, dreams, and desires, post-its, photos, trinkets, and all other inspirations and place them on your board. Arrange them. Re-arrange them. Get creative and make a board that is uniquely your own.

Place it where you can see it regularly.

Place your board in a prominent place where you’ll be able to see it often and can focus on it. The key to creating this board is not just to write down your desires, but to keep those things in your mind as you continue to work towards them.

All talk and no action is worthless

Our goals can only be reached through a vehicle of a plan, in which we must fervently believe, and upon which we must vigorously act. There is no other route to success.” —Pablo Picasso

Now is the fun part. Do something. Take little step. Turn those steps in to great strides. Work backwards and create a do-able action plan. Look at your vision board and create creative ways that you can make those desires a reality.


And finally, do easy on yourself if you do not meet all of your goals within the time frames you’ve set. Keep trying and be relentless as we all are worth the things we desire, it’s just a matter of going out there and getting it. And I believe without a doubt that you can do great things.

 “All who have accomplished great things have had a great aim, have fixed their gaze on a goal which was high, one which sometimes seemed impossible.” —Orison Swett Marden



Come back next week when we talk about goal slaying. I will go into some helpful hints to help you stay on top of your goals and realizing each and every one of them.


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New Year, New Y.O.U.

New Year New you! New Blog – Year of Y.O.U.

Your Truth, Optimism, Understanding


The New Year always brings feelings of a fresh start, an opportunity to change bad habits, and create new memories, re-evaluate oneself, and a chance to get rid of things that cause unease and unhappiness.

I am so excited about this New Year and all the possibilities it holds for us and I want to spread that excitement to you all.

Get excited y’all! Great things are coming!

I want to motivate you all to step into this new season with all the vigor, confidence, excitement, and optimism you can muster!!

We really are all blessed to see another day, let alone another year, and we shouldn’t waste any second of it being unhappy, when we really don’t have to.


This year you can look forward to BBA focusing on Y.O.U.:

Your Truth: We will be working on

  • Learning about what is right for you and your circumstances as an individual
  • Discovering healthy boundaries and pushing limiting boundaries
  • Enjoying the beauty in self-reflection and mindfulness, and
  • Appreciating that what is true for you may not be true for others. Vice versa. And that is ok. vis-à-vis the spice of life.

Optimism:  There are so many wonderful things in life and we are focused on inviting all of those pleasing things into your life, thus crafting your best year ever. We are also focused on getting rid of the bad habits to go into negative thoughts and existing in affirming and uplifting thoughts which create positive and blissful lives.

Understanding: Understanding self, exploring self, loving self.

Taking a step back and looking at situations with a rational and elevated eye.

Searching for understanding with the intent of growth and evolution and not from low vibrational malcontent and suffering.


We will be kicking this year off right with cultivating your personal vision for your 2019 year, how you can make it your best year, and how you can eliminate the things that don’t serve you.

I am so excited for the things to come and how it can impact your lives, and make it the best year or YOU yet!