30 ways to a better & brighter day + tips for releasing negative emotions and stress. Learn to self regulate today! (#calm down)

Hey Baddies, this next statement may surprise you…

“The truth is that stress doesn’t come from your boss, your kids, your spouse, traffic jams, health challenges, or other circumstances. It comes from your thoughts about your circumstances.”
―Andrew Bernstein

Oof, that’s a tough quote.

Essentially, its saying that we have more control over our lives and how we react to stress, than we think. 

Stress is a feeling of emotional or physical tension which can stem from our reactions and thoughts to an event or circumstance.

Did you know that we sometimes subconsciously choose to think in a way that causes us to feel stressed (usually out of habit) and that, with some practice, we can change and decide not to feel those stress emotions?

Easier said than done right? 

There are a lot of ways that we can begin to start to control or regulate stress but like with any muscle, it takes some time to build up that control.

One tool is mindfulness. Beginning a mindfulness journey and becoming aware of your triggers will help slow down the knee-jerk reactions. Another tool is separation. Removing yourself or separating from situations, conversations, or circumstances that you know cause those feelings to come up for you.

Remember we are aiming for emotional regulation…not repression.

  1. We want to start by identifying what you are feeling. Give the emotion a name. If you do not know the name start big (with simple words) and zone in. Example…I feel sad, scared, or mad.
  2. Accept the emotion. Make peace with the fact that the feelings are present. Breathe and do not be too hasty to change your emotional state.
  3. Be kind to yourself and non-judgmental. Watch your inner dialog. Do not talk negatively about how you feel and start to regulate.

Below I have come up with 30 ways to relieve stress and emotional pain and begin to reframe situations and self-regulate. 

  • Breathe – take a few deep, calming breaths and collect yourself
  • Therapy  – talking to someone who is trained in helping is always a great idea
  • Read – take your mind elsewhere for a moment
  • Make an action plan – decide on what you will do if/when you are in a similar situation again
  • Research how others overcame – there is someone out there who has gone through the same thing. Figure out how they coped
  • Reorganize – clear out clutter or clean your space to help clear your mind.
  • Look at childhood /limiting beliefs – figure out where the habits come from
  • Work on goals – put that extra energy into something worthwhile
  • Create art – express through different mediums
  • Validate yourself – remember that you are valid
  • Re-channel energy- figure out an outlet that works for you
  • Write – another form of expression
  • Give yourself time – take a moment
  • Allow yourself to feel – sit in your feelings without judgment
  • Don’t overanalyze – sometimes the best thing you can do is to just let it be without thinking too hard
  • Don’t pressure yourself – relax and know that the strong emotions will pass
  • Cry – let it out if that’s what feels right
  • Scream into a pillow – let it out if that’s what feels right
  • Sing – sound is very cathartic
  • Dance – physical movement is healing as well
  • Exercise – the endorphins will have you feeling great and accomplished
  • Get in the sun – Vitamin D is necessary
  • Look at your triggers – learning what sets you off can help you in the future
  • Drink water – cleanse your physical body
  • Read – start reading self empowerment books
  • Seek friends – talk to your closest friends
  • Change perspective – think about things from a different point of view
  • Meditate – breathe deep and re-focus
  • Journal – write about the problem or use the journal to switch focus
  • Consistently care for yourself – making sure to care for your mental and physical health regularly will help ensure you are not drawing from an empty well

Consider this: The Latin derivative for the word emotion, ’emotere’, literally means energy in motion.

These 30 ideas are literal ways for processing emotions and moving the energy through your body.  As you practice and become more aware of triggers it all will get easier. Sooner or later, you will find that what used to set you off doesn’t phase you anymore. Get excited! Better days are coming!!

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A Bad Bitch’s Guide: How to Eliminate Jealousy and Cut Down Unnecessary Comparison. Tips to Walk in Your Power.

In the BB Guide to Self- Validation, we learned that we are all so unique and beautifully made. Being our complete selves and taking up space is so important. We have the ability to build ourselves up and we do not need the opinions of others to know that we are worthwhile. But…sometimes comparison and jealousy will still set in.

We all do it. Every once in a while, that green-eyed monster will creep in an we will get jealous and envious of what others have or have accomplished. You will see another’s journey and look at yours and start to feel inadequate, or lost, or stagnant. You might feel like they’ve accomplished so much while you haven’t. Or you might feel like they have so much while you may not. We all know social media is a big proponent of this.

It’s time we stop comparing our lives to other people’s lives. Stop comparing our struggles to other people’s struggles. And stop comparing our journeys to other people’s journeys. Periodt.

“Comparison Is the Thief of Joy” -Theodore Roosevelt

Life is short. It is my goal to make sure my baddies are living their best lives by bringing in all the wonderful and happy things into their lives and not focusing on being jealous of others, comparing themselves with others and focusing on any other things that make our experience on earth painful, or malcontent. Focusing on unnecessary, low vibrational and, often times, false thoughts does not fall in line with living our best lives or being a bad bitch.

In this guide I have comprised some thoughts and sentiments to remember when you start to feel jealous, as well as a few tips to eliminate comparison all together. Keep reading below.

Think about this…You can think something but you do not know that it is true until you really know.

Have you ever created a whole story in your head or a scenario that you swore were facts, until you asked someone about what you thought to be true and it was the complete opposite?

Have you ever assumed something to be true but it turned out to be an overactive imagination and overthinking masked as false intuition?

Have you ever received part of a story and assumed you knew the whole story, and started making plans based on half information?

I definitely have. Prime example – Wondering why someone was not texting me back, spiraled into me being so sure that they were texting who I considered to be competition, which turned into me becoming jealous and almost flying off the handle from pure assumption and a jealousy induced rage, or anxiety.

I’ve learned that asking the questions can eliminate a lot of unnecessary drama.

You can not be too afraid of the answer to ask the question – Iyanla Vanzant

Remember that your thoughts are not always based in reality or true.

At the same time the grass may look greener but there is always more to the story. A person may have something you covet but who knows what they had to do to get it. Additionally, they may have one thing that looks great but are lacking in so many other ways. You never know the full truth of a situation.

Do not be afraid to ask questions.

This will eliminate comparison, drama, pointless jealousy and envy.


Whatever you are jealous of, remember that you can have it to.

Most of the time we feel jealousy or resentment because deep down we want what they have. Well, I’m here to tell you that we can absolutely have what they have.

If I’m jealous because I see someone with a “perfect” body, and I’m not doing all I can to become happy with my body…what am I really feeling these covetous feelings for? I am not doing all I can for me.

If I’m feeling jealous because I see my friend has an adventurous life, with lots of friends, and travels often, and I want that too, there is a fairly simple solution. I need to go out and create that for me too.

“If you want a 1% life you need to do 1% work – Gary V”

Create the life you want.


Ok, now it is true that some circumstances are out of our control. And maybe you’re not jealous but you are comparing your circumstance to others and are not happy. This is where gratitude comes in.


Gratitude is the most important tip in all of this. It is essentially the cheat code for happiness

“Gratitude is the healthiest of all human emotions. The more you express gratitude for what you have, the more likely you will have even more to express gratitude for.” —Zig Ziglar


We must be grateful for wheat we have, what we are going to receive, what others have been given, our protection, our blessings in general. There are so many things to be grateful for

I have said it before that we have a say in our happiness and in our lives in general. It is wasted energy to wallow in jealousy when we could be doing what we could to create our own wonderful, exciting, adventurous lives. If you want it, be happy that others have this fantastic thing and figure out how to create it in your own life too. But above all of that – be grateful for what you have been given today! Sometimes we get so caught up in our daily grind that we forget that we have been so immensely blessed. I want to encourage all of my baddies to take some time to practice gratitude.


A BBA guide: Getting into FLOW STATE and How It Can Actively Help When Dealing With Anxiety and Depression

Like we’ve discussed in A BB guide to deal with disappointment and create more satisfaction in your life, feeling let down or experiencing discontent because circumstances may not meet your expectations is a natural occurrence.

Disappointment is a pretty regular fact of life. It happens all the time. In the previous post I gave you 8 ways we can change our reactions when things don’t go our way. One of my favorite methods, that I mentioned was flow state. But you may be asking what exactly is flow state.

What is Flow State?

Flow state is a conscious state of being fully present, focused in the now, and allowing happiness and contentment with no room for self-consciousness. Also, could be described as being in the zone and demonstrated as rolling with the punches, in scenarios where malcontent is concerned.

A famous saying from Lao Tzu states that “If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present.”


The method of Flow State advises us to focus on the now and focus on what is happening at this very moment.

Psychologist Mihály Csíkszentmihályi, who coined the term describes it as an “optimal state of consciousness where we feel our best and perform our best.” And “being completely involved in an activity for its own sake. The ego falls away. Time flies. Every action, movement, and thought follows inevitably from the previous one, like playing jazz. Your whole being is involved, and you’re using your skills to the utmost.


Other states of being include relaxation, boredom, worry, anxiety, and arousal.

When you allow yourself to enter flow state you do not leave much room for emotions such as anger, jealousy, envy, stress, aggression, competition, worry, and disappointment; all of which are lower level ego-based emotions.


Alayna Kennedy, contributor for the Huffington post wrote in her article “Flow State: What It Is and How to Achieve It” that 10 factors that accompany flow state are:

1.Having clear goals about what you want to achieve
2. Concentration and focus
3. Participating in an intrinsically rewarding activity
4. Losing feelings of self-consciousness
5. Timelessness; losing track of time passing
6. Being able to immediately judge your own progress; instant feedback on your performance
7. Knowing that your skills align with the goals of the task
8. Feeling control over the situation and the outcome
9. Lack of awareness of physical needs
10. Complete focus on the activity itself


When you enter flow state you do not focus on the future or the past – just the task at hand, and the present moment. Flow state is a conscious state of being fully present, focused in the now, and allowing happiness and contentment with no room for self-consciousness.


Have you ever sat down to work on something and get so wrapped up in it, that you seem to lose all track of time? That is being in flow. If you think back to that time – do you remember feeling any anxiety? Do you remember wallowing or feeling low? Do you remember any second guessing? There was no room for any of that.


The next time you are feeling overwhelmed by life take some time to clear some space for yourself and get into flow state. Think about what is needed for you to get a state of flow. What contributed to you being in the zone?






A BBA Guide: 8 Easy Ways to Deal with Disappointment and Create MORE SATISFACTION in your life TODAY

Disappointment is a common occurrence in life. It happens to everyone, all the time. But it can still leave us feeling down and frustrated when things don’t go our way. If you’ve ever dealt with an unexpected breakup, or not getting that promotion, or even cancelled plans, you understand how easy it is to feel let down. In a world with so many variables, possible outcomes, and where others have agency and free will, disappointment is bound to happen to all of us eventually.

Although you may not be able to change things when circumstances don’t go as planned, you can change your outlook and your reactions to them. You can change yourself.

There are ways to manage, survive and even thrive when frustrating situations hit. You can deal with situations in a different way, limit feeling disappointed and not let it affect you so much. In this post I will give you 8 ways to not only deal with disappointment but create more satisfaction in your life today.

Life is short. Wouldn’t it be amazing to have a life hack to make our time here as enjoyable as possible? Click to learn my favorite tips creating a happy life with the POSITIVITY SWITCH.

Count your blessings

This should always be one of the first things we do – period. But the feeling should be amplified when dealing with disappointing situations. Do not forget how blessed you are. If you’re reading this then you’re already more blessed than a lot of people. Gratitude will allow you to see the world in a new light and bring some tranquility to mind.

“When we focus on our gratitude, the tide of disappointment goes out and the tide of love rushes in.” – Kristin Armstrong

Come from a place of power.

Remember that you are not a bystander in your life and even if things do not work out with this situation, you won’t be defeated. Look for opportunities of growth and lessons that can be learned. Lean into those situations.

Flow State

Practice flowing and being like water. Flow state is a conscious state of being fully present, focused in the now, and allowing happiness and contentment with no room for self-consciousness. Also, could be described as rolling with the punches or being in the zone.

When you allow yourself to enter flow state you do not leave much room for emotions such as anger, jealousy, envy, stress, aggression, competition, worry, and disappointment, all lower level ego-based emotions.

Release expectations and you release yourself.

Sometimes when you limit the strong attachments to one particular outcome you free yourself. You also allow other possible outcomes that can be better for you and more aligned for your path This is such an important point that I will expound upon soon.

Feel and Form a plan

Feel the emotions for a moment and then form a plan of action. I will never tell you not to feel emotions or tell you to stifle your feelings. It is human nature to feel it bad when situations do not go your way. The key is to allow yourself that moment, for a moment – then move – act. Do not wallow. Get to work.

(Stay turned for more on the Feel and Form method )

Fill your life with many exciting things.

This works by giving yourself many things to look forward to instead of just that one thing. That way if one thing doesn’t work out, you have many other things that will bring you joy. How does the saying go? Don’t put all your eggs in one basket. This will limit one situation holding so much weight in your life.


Don’t give up.

If you are striving towards something and have been rejected in one way or another, Do not give up.

Re-frame your thinking and consider it a redirection instead of a rejection, and even a divine intervention.

Look at the big picture. When you come to realize that in the grand scheme of life, being rejected, or disappointment is not going to hold you back or even matter in the long run, you will already be miles ahead of others.

Most importantly – Make a conscious decision to move boldly as if the world is on your side.

It’s human nature to want to protect yourself and move with caution, but are you really living your best life if you walk around fearful? Use the negative emotions as a tool and a motivational factor instead.

And finally -I need to repeat this sentiment for the baddies in the back. Although you may not be able to change things when circumstances that don’t go as planned, you can change your outlook and your reactions to them. You can change yourself. It is my goals that my baddies are well equipped for the ups and downs in life and have tools to deal with disappointments in the best way. If you’ve found this helpful – let me know below. Id love to hear your stories.


A Bad Bitch’s Guide: Create more JOY & HAPPINESS in your life with the POSITIVITY SWITCH! 5 tips to catch your negative thoughts & become a Positive Beacon of Light.

My favorite tips to stopping the negative thoughts and switching instantly to positivity. Make it a habit. Your friends will wonder what’s changed in you.

“If you believe that the world is conspiring against you, it will just do that.”
― Bangambiki Habyarimana

A very powerful quote and so true in so many ways. Thepifesting that negativity into your life. If you dwell in fear and go around looking for the bad things, they will inevitably reveal themselves to you.

This is why a positivity switch is so essential to living your best life and having the most awesome [YEAR OF YOU]!

Switching off the negative thoughts, that do not serve you, and turning on your positive, optimistic thoughts will create a much better existence. Life is short. Why wouldn’t we make our time as enjoyable as possible? Continue below to learn my favorite tips executing the POSITIVITY SWITCH.

Become aware of the habit and force yourself stop.

Practice Mindfulness

Start paying close attention to your triggers and catch yourself when you start thinking negatively. It may be something like your environment that sets you off, or something someone has said. Whatever it is – identify it.

  • Step into a new physical environment, remove yourself to protect yourself.
  • Use a rubber band around your wrist to stop the habit
  • Vocally Speak to yourself – “self…stop”
  • When I realize I am being jealous I need to stop immediately
  • Take some time to think, is what I am feeling really true
  • Turn the negative thought into an affirming one. Instead of focusing on what you don’t like, focus on what you do.

Figure out where the negativity is coming from.

Fear, jealousy, anger, envy, aggression, competition hatred, guilt, anger, hostility

  • Once again – Identify it. When we know what something is, and we can name it, it is so much easier to conquer it.
  • These are low vibration emotions that are sure to create a lot of negativity and suffering. We will discuss more about these emotions to come
  • “A positive Mindset attracts Success like a magnet and a negative one loves to marry failure, procrastination and comfortable environment that sobs in mediocrity and impossibility.”― Oscar Bimpong

Practice intentionality and choose to focus on the positive daily.

Before you get into the negative spaces, or walk into the triggers, start your day with some intentions. Figure out what you want and create an intention daily. Start your day by saying what you want and walk in your power. This will begin to switch your knee jerk reaction from the negative to the positive and create the habit.

  • Intention Example: Today I want to will be more loving and less jealous.
  • Affirmation Example: I am open minded and considerate. I am genuinely happy for others, and know that other peoples success does not negate mine
  • Practice and repeat the intention and affirmations throughout the day.
  • “Your thoughts carry you wherever you want to go. Weak thoughts don’t have the energy to carry you far!” ― Israelmore Ayivor

Remember that you can’t always believe what you think.

“Remember, what you “feel” and what is “real” are often very different.” ― Eddie Capparucci, LPC

Be aware of your inner dialogue. Sometimes you convince yourself of things that are not facts. We can get so wrapped up in one side of a story, or what we made up in our heads, that we fail to paint the full picture, which could save us a lot of pain. Things may not always be how we imagine them in our minds.

  • Remember that you can’t always believe what you think and tell yourself. Your negative voices are not always true
  • Never assume anything. Communicate clearly to avoid misunderstandings.
  • Don’t be afraid to ask the questions, or clarify.
    • Examples: what I hear you saying is…
    • I feel like you are saying this…is this true?
    • You’re doing this which makes me feel like that. Is this accurate?

Go to Gratitude

Gratitude can calm the greatest trouble minds. Being grateful can put a lot of things into perspective.

  • Be grateful for what you have
  • How far you’ve come
  • Where you’re going
  • Any times that you have been granted grace.
  • Looking at the big picture and become aware of what you want to do want out of can help you overcome the negative thoughts. We don’t have time for this – were on a bigger path.
  • We suffer when we want life other than what it is. If we put things into perspective with gratefulness, we can eliminate so much suffering.

“Your mind can destroy your life! Mind your mind; think well! Detoxify your thought and be free!”
Ernest Agyemang Yeboah



When the time comes when you feel yourself slipping, use some of the one of the above methods to stop and switch to a positive mind frame. Remember that your worth and the path that you are on. These negative thoughts do not serve you. As we continue in the Year of Y.O.U (Your truth, optimism, and understanding) becoming more positive will start to lay the very important groundwork to living your best life.

Go back and catch what you missed. Previous post : Slay with ease and become successful with this Consistency Calendar)




The next year will be the beginning of a new decade. 2020! During these last couple of months work on tying up any loose ends and starting the next year with a bang! Below is a bucket list that should be able to help you create the life you wantAutumn buckettlist

Visualize the new year and start setting things up for it.

With only a few months until the new year, why not get prepared ahead of time. Tie up any loose ends. Close any unfinished chapters and prepare yourself for a clean slate.

Do a mental/spiritual/physical detox

A detoxification is an amazing thing to do. If you haven’t ever detoxed or tried a cleanse There are many wonderful fasting, cleansing, and detoxification programs out there.

Break through your plateaus- push through for the next 3 months.

What have you been stuck on? What’s something you struggle with? Make waves towards your goals now.

Forgive yourself for past hurts and disappointments

Now is the time to work through your past, and free yourself in the new year. It may not be a quick process but what better time than now to start chipping away at disappointments and pain.

Choose the positive mind-frame.

Don’t believe those thoughts that life is against you. Make a conscious decision to live in a positive world.


Show love for yourself and this vessel that you are in and exercise. Do it for yourself, do it for your family and those that love you, and do it for your future. Don’t you want to feel amazing in your body.

Get shit done.

Don’t wait for motivation. Commit to finishing what you started.

Audit the things that do not bring you happiness

Leave those things in 2019.

Spend time with those you love.

Quality time is so important. You don’t want to miss out on creating lasting memories.


Manifest more Success! Learn the Secret to Endurance for your Long-Term Goals. The Importance of Regrouping and Taking Time for You!

How to endure for the long run and the importance of regrouping and taking time for you!

There are many times when life can get us down, we can feel overwhelmed when things do not go as planned. When this happens we may lose our vigor and motivation.

This is especially true when dealing with stress. During those times we can begin to operate in a way that is less than our best.

We start overthinking

We get personally offended at the slightest thing

We start to become overly controlling or possessive

We can become easily angered

These things all stem from fear and are of a low vibration. These mind frames do not feed us and these states do not uplift us.

When we start to feel this way, it is so important to take some time for ourselves to regroup, relieve stress, and refocus.

The Benefits of Taking a Break and Regrouping.

I listened to an entrepreneur speaker say the most damaging thing for a businesses “Start, Stop.” This is the idea that you may start on the project then stop then start again then stop, creating more and more distance between you and your goals.

Although I believe it can be harmful, in some senses, for momentum, for your mental state, this can be beneficial.

There is an advantage from those breaks in between. Those little spaces can create strength and growth like the spaces in between pillars that hold up a building.

The breaks you take are a chance for rest, relaxation and a chance to refocus. We also use those breaks to re-evaluate.

These times are an opportunity to really figure out what you want and re-enforce your desires.

Additionally, when you go through those breaks and come back re-energized, it creates a space where you’re better able to handle disappointments and pitfalls. Because of the time off, you may not crumble to the many unforeseen circumstances and potential burnout. Taking these breaks is integral and an important time to relax.


Burnout occurs when your body and mind can no longer keep up with the tasks you demand of them. Don’t try to force yourself to do the impossible. Delegate time for important tasks, but always be sure to leave time for relaxation and reflection.”

―Del Suggs

Remembering to take time for yourself. Relaxing is so important. It is the balance you need for working intensely and tirelessly. It’s all about balance.

So how do you make it through the long haul?

How do you make it to your long term goals?

Give yourself a break. And when you are back working – be consistent.

Endurance come from staying consistent. Do not rely on being motivated to be consistent. Motivation is fleeting. Create a plan. Include rest in your plan. And do it.

Image result for work when you don't feel like it


The Bad Bitch Bucketlist – Summer 2019

Its here! Get excited. The Bad Bitch Bucketlist – Summer 2019 is here!

This is a list of fantastic, inspirational, motivational things to do in the next few months that fall in line with living your best life. This goes with our theme of the year of Y.O.U.

To learn more about the YEAR OF Y.O.U. click [HERE].  Focusing on Your Truth, Optimism, and Understanding.

In the next 3 months see how many of these items you can successfully mark off. Lets challenge ourselves and be great.

#Challenge #Quotes

I will be doing it with you! Take it to the next level and write about the moments you were able to do the things listed, how you’ve achieved these things, how you’ve seen changes, and how they might have helped you grow!  Comment below! I’d love to hear your stories.


Keep reading for more details and information about the bucketlist items. Save this list and mark off any items that you have completed!


19 Summer Bucket list


1. Have a magnificent life that you are in love with. Live life on your terms.

Strive to be so in love with your life that you do not have time to be jealous or envious of others. Life is so short and we should all strive to make this time that we have the absolute best it can be.

2.Actively stop negative self-talk. Catch yourself in the act and do a positivity switch.

Start paying close attention to your triggers and catch yourself when you start thinking negatively. Work on talking to yourself how you would talk to your best friend. With kindness, gentleness, support and love.How you think of yourself colors how you move in the world.

3.Move fearlessly

Do something that scares you. Move out of your comfort zone.You cant fully experience all that life has to offer if you stay in your bubble. You cant reach new heights if you stay in your comfort zone.

4.Spend time learning what makes you happy.

When was the last time you thought about what you want? When was the last time you treated yourself? When was the last time you really tuned into what made you happy. Lets make a change and give yourself that gift today.

5. Sit and enjoy the now

Be present. Spend precious moments soaking it all in. Spend precious moments just being. Practice mindfulness and notice the little and big things. Quiet your mind. Rest in the moment.

6.Validate yourself daily.

Your worth does not come from others, it comes from self A man does not validate you or determine your worth. Your friends do not validate you or determine your worth. Your stature, job, history, family, accomplishments do not validate you or determine your worth. You do. How you feel about yourself and the love that you give to yourself is most important.

7.Be a Goal slayer 

Set challenging goals. Take big action towards them. Crush them. Period.

8.Help others

Bring positivity into other people’s lives. Be a beacon of light. Pouring into others brings positivity into your own life.

9.Practice gratitude. 

Be aware of your blessings. A big tool to help switch your mood is to sit in thankfulness.



10.Roll with the punches

While living your best life, things may not always go as planned but if you have a growth mindset, and practice landing on your feet because you believe you are capable, you will be in a great position. Remember that you are doing well.

19 Summer Bucket list.jpg