Let’s delve a little deeper into negative speech. We discussed how our brains have a negative bias and tend to highlight negative events/feelings over positive ones. And it is with effort and practice that one can move into a more positive space semi-automatically. In order to truly live our best lives and bloom, we need to get rid of some of the negative weight.
(Click here to read Fighting your Negative Bias | Blossom & Bloom: Destructive Speech & Mindful Intentions | Blossom & Bloom: The Foundation to Flourishing )
My thoughts were not my own
My father believed children should be seen and not heard and had a very domineering way of effecting order – because of that I lost some of my voice as a child. This, along with some other limiting beliefs, made me think I wasn’t capable of achieving my dreams. I developed a hard edge as a form of protection and developed a belief that that my opinions did not matter. I thought things like…”only some people can do great things in the world…no one cares about my point of view- let me stay quiet… if I speak I will be shut down.”
With lots of work, which is still ongoing, soothing my inner-child, and reversing some of those thoughts I was started chipping away at some of those beliefs. I had to really take a look at where these thoughts came from. Observe them as separate from myself. And eliminate the thought, and habit that did nit serve my higher self.
I now know, whole heartedly, that I can achieve ANYTHING. And so can you. Supporting and uplifting people has become my passion with Bad Bitch Affirmations. I want everyone to know that they can truly achieve anything they believe in. You have me in your corner! I believe in you
Observe & Reflect
Start paying attention to your inner dialogue. Is it predominantly positive or negative?
Have you ever taken the time to think about where the negative thoughts, or negative self-talk comes from?
I want you to try the activity below for a few days. Write about it in your journal and give yourself time to really dig into your observations.
Observe: How do you speak to yourself when you make a mistake? When you are angry? Sad? Disappointed? Is it kind or are you beating yourself up?
Reflect: Is there anyone one in your life who does the same thing? Did you learn this behavior from someone? Can you practice speaking kindly to yourself?
“Turn down the volume of your negative inner voice and create a nurturing inner voice to take it’s place. When you make a mistake, forgive yourself, learn from it, and move on instead of obsessing about it. Equally important, don’t allow anyone else to dwell on your mistakes or shortcomings or to expect perfection from you.”
― Beverly Engel
Observe: Are you surrounded by negative people? You are like the 5 people you spend the most time with. Do you work in a negative environment? Do you ingest negative media?
Reflect: Is there anything you can change to create more positivity in your life? Can you speak up when things go negative? Can you remove yourself? What can you do to keep your inner dialogue positive?
“Surround yourself with people that reflect who you want to be and how you want to feel, energies are contagious.” Anonymous
Observe: Did someone put their opinions on you? Your parents? Role model? Has someone said something to you or about you that became ingrained? Are these thought or opinions really your own? Were you bullied?
Reflect: Are there any beliefs that you question? Are there any habits that you don’t like? Were you allowed to be your complete self as a child? Think about how you can take care of your inner child now, as an adult. Is there anything you wished you heard as a child? Say those things to yourself now and care for your younger self.
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt
For some it may be a scary thing digging up old hurts, but I want to encourage you. I’m sure you will have many epiphanies during this time. Continue to do the work. You will be stronger for it.